Create February Fabulous! - Leaps of Faith

I have been undertaking a small challenge for myself. It is to create something every day in February. The reason for doing this is to create a new habit within me that is supportive of my dreams and desires. I have always been creative and have always had creative urges but like many of us, have lived with a number of fears that held me back.

Amongst other things I am a musician but have long been crippled by my own limiting beliefs. Voices from childhood, fear of others opinions, fear of judgement, of looking a fool and the big one, of not being worthy or good enough. This led me to completely stifle my musical urges because it was easier than face the voices, the risks and the edge of my comfort zone. I generally did okay at gigs but it took me a long time to build up my courage and play one. Not motivated is what you would call me.

The absolute worst thing I could do was busk. To me that was the pinnacle of vulnerability and risk. That was to lay myself bare to everything, to completely expose myself to the public without a reason. With this in mind, over the last few months, I have been working gently but consistently on loving myself, listening to the emotions that flow through me and just opening to my senses without getting lost in my mind. Sitting, being, allowing.

Lately I faced some big fears on a snowy mountain and made an effort to listen and relax. I let go of the tension in my body, I allowed myself to be in this moment and looked for things going right, right now.

On Sunday I finally played an open mic event even though I was scared, tired, and unpractised. I took a step forward with faith. At 3.30 in the morning, a local promoter who was also at the open mic (things start late in Spain), offered me a gig the next Sunday in a big Irish pub.

Today I decided to venture into town to practice my set. I found a nice spot in the park on the mountain above the Alcazaba. I had to practice anyway so I told myself I was just practicing outside. I happened to have my guitar case open and I offered my songs to the sea, the sun, the trees and the people who passed by.

Occasional moments of fear passed through me but I kept telling myself I was safe and loved. I sat for 90 minutes busking, out in the open. I didn't die. I focused on the task at hand, practicing my set. No one told me off. No one judged me. My music was a gift to nature. What I had held in complete fear and terror melted into total illusion under the beautiful spring sun. My fears seemed to pass like clouds on a windy day. I even made enough spare change for a few beers.

What I want to say is this... Those fears that you thought were big are probably not as big as you think they are. We are wonderful imagineers us humans. We are very good at giving substance to things which don't exist.

Love yourself. Nurture yourself. Listen to yourself. Take it bit by bit but step you must. However small the step. The step will give you confidence. You do not need to leap. Just step. Fears can be dissolved and put to good use. You can thrive and shine.

I wish you much love and courage and baby steps.

Love, love, love...

Matt 

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Create February Fabulous! is an idea or challenge to try and show up with your own creativity every day for the month of February. It is a simple idea. The creativity can take any form, and take any amount of time. Any media, any discipline, the only condition is to have fun. No critics, no judgement, just a celebration of our own unique human quality of creativity. You are encouraged to share your projects anywhere you like (only if you want) using the hashtag #createfebruary. Join the Facebook group, share on Instagram, blog about it, invite friends to some daily creativity. Let's see what we can create together. 

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!

Create February Fabulous! - Make Love to Life

Great sex is life-affirming, joyous and pleasurable. It leaves us satisfied yet eager for more. It puts us in a place of present moment connection with our lover and enhances the bond between us. Our lover thrives on gentleness and presence. Relaxation and trust allow us to let go and be ourselves whether it builds into wild passionate abandon or whether we flow and intertwine into a fluid and singular being, dancing with our hearts open. Of course, sex takes many forms and has many songs but the fundamental tenets of consent, trust, attraction and passion lie at the heart of our most natural and fundamental desires.

 Our relationship to life works in much the same way. Just like our lover, we cannot inspire the best within us if we are harsh, desperate, fearful or critical. We cannot expect life to yield to us ecstatic moments of pure joy if we have approached our experiences with anger, hopelessness or judgement.

Not that we should deny our emotions or pretend they do not exist. They must be listened to and they must be embraced and loved. There is great value in treating yourself as a precious object and embracing the difficult emotions in order to hear what they are saying to you. When we can start to hear the messages of our body, instead of reacting to them and throwing them outwards, we start to develop our relationship with ourselves and thus with life. All we have to do is become quiet and listen to ourselves and our bodies.

Life may teach us about sex but sex can teach us about life. A great lover is admired and loved. So too can we learn to admire and love the rhythms of life and the experiences that come to us. We can begin to admire and love ourselves. A great lover is caressed to lofty passion through delicate sensations that build over time; each of us preferring a different touch, a different way. Life touches us all the time and we reach out into life with our thoughts and perceptions. There is great value in allowing our thoughts to linger in places that feel good, in areas and subjects that allow our essence to flow. A great lover has rhythms we can tune into so that we begin dancing as one. Life too has a flow that we can choose to accept in the moment, not forcing or struggling, but following the tide, like water to the moon.

If we make love to life, we approach life as a lover. We are patient and artful. We are present in the moment, connected and trusting. We notice that our thoughts and words have power. We notice that our perceptions create realities and we adjust them in order to experience something new. We are free to choose new ideas and to focus on the beautiful aspects of what we see. Just as we complement our lovers, so we learn to complement life and look for that which arouses us, which ignites our hearts and sets our souls free. Just as we notice that appreciation affects our lovers, we realise that we too are affected by our own attitudes. We treat ourselves as we treat our lovers. We hold ourselves in high-regard. We are precious objects.

Slowly we realise that life is responding to us in much the same way. Slowly we realise that life yields and opens up to us as we open up our hearts to life. We approach our situations with new eyes, choosing to look for the silver linings as we listen to our intuitive guidance within. Life echoes us and just as we dance with our lover, so we dance with life.

Make love, in everything you do…

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Create February Fabulous! is an idea or challenge to try and show up with your own creativity every day for the month of February. It is a simple idea. The creativity can take any form, and take any amount of time. Any media, any discipline, the only condition is to have fun. No critics, no judgement, just a celebration of our own unique human quality of creativity. You are encouraged to share your projects anywhere you like (only if you want) using the hashtag #createfebruary. Join the Facebook group, share on Instagram, blog about it, invite friends to some daily creativity. Let's see what we can create together. 

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!

Create February Fabulous! - The Darkness: Side Two

Day 4 and 5

The creative challenge continues. It is less challenging now and is turning into something I am very eager to partake in every day. I originally started this because I used to procrastinate massively. I love creating things but I always found an excuse not to do it. I came up with this project to see what would happen if I was accountable only to myself. Then I decided it might be a grand idea to share it. 

Sharing it is proving rather beneficial because I can see how other people create and that in itself is massively inspiring. For myself, I am uncovering some truths that I hope will in turn inspire other people to begin a creative habit of their own. I believe humans are meant to create and when we do, we tend to feel and act much better.

So here is Day 4 and 5. I have found myself returning to my main weapon of choice... words. The poems seem to be reflecting my burgeoning interest in my creativity. I don't spend overly long on each one. Perhaps 30 minutes. I like these short bursts of creativity. I like being kind to myself rather than critical and judgemental. Art needs love and nurturing, that is for sure.

The Shadow Light

Inside ourselves two halves are true
Living back to back
Without them both creates not you
A faded sense of lack

We push and shove one side right down
Pretend that it's not there
And when our faces start to frown
We say we just don't care

The shadow sits inside of us
Protects us from the rain
But when it starts to moan and fuss
We stamp and curse the pain

We blame the clouds, our mum and dad
We swallow all our fears
We point at all that we think bad
And struggle with our tears

But here's the thing, that dark inside
Is actually our friend
The shadow of our self it rides
A mirror to us sends

It shows us where our thinking stuck
It triggers us to deal
The shit we face is just good luck
Another chance to feel

So if you meet your darker side
Today then dance with glee
Embrace it with your arms spread wide
Just listen, look and see

Allow it to flow freely through
It may be fast or loud
The darkness is just cleaning you
Passing like a cloud

Just sit and be and breath and smile
Don't swallow, swear or fight
The storm will pass in just a while
Like day transforming night.

Matt Rivers
4th February 2016

 The Warrior

From humble tales, a boy once grew,

Small of frame, with eyes pale blue.

His hair like straw, reflecting light,

Gleaming sun in the dead of night.

His heart was full and bright with love

With wings so soft and light as doves.

Great plans he had and dreams of gold,

Adventures planned and journeys bold.

But grow he did as seasons passed.

The light inside, it did not last.

He drew into a place of gloom,

Where monsters roamed and sang of doom.

Here he learned to fight and dance,

To stand his ground and take a chance.

He tried to break the monster’s trap

But the beast was strong and kept him back.

Until one day he met a man

Whose light was fire inside his hands.

His skin so dark and eyes so pale,

Wise words he spun into a tale.

The monster that you fight so hard

Lives within your mind my child.

When you fight you give him power,

Forever over you he’ll tower.

Instead approach him softly slow,

Your heart stretched wide with all you know.

Embrace that many coloured beast,

For all he needs is gentle peace.

He stood and all at once could see

Just how life was meant to be.

He took the monster in his arms

And spoke brave words of love and calm.

Just then the sun through clouds did crack

His light and plans came rushing back.

But now the wild inside him thrived,

An infinite sea of dreams they dived.

Matt Rivers

5^th February 2016

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Create February Fabulous! is an idea or challenge to try and show up with your own creativity every day for the month of February. It is a simple idea. The creativity can take any form, and take any amount of time. Any media, any discipline, the only condition is to have fun. No critics, no judgement, just a celebration of our own unique human quality of creativity. You are encouraged to share your projects anywhere you like (only if you want) using the hashtag #createfebruary. Join the Facebook group, share on Instagram, blog about it, invite friends to some daily creativity. Let's see what we can create together. 

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!

Create February Fabulous! - The Bag

Day 2

I have doubts. I have fears. I have little voices telling me I am ridiculous and stupid. I have critics that tell me I am not good enough and plenty of demons on my shoulders telling me that I am not qualified to be an artist, not talented enough, not clever enough and not motivated enough. My darker side is trying to protect me. It is doing this based on information I was told when I was very little. None of it is true but the voices carry on.

I set out to just create something once a day and share it but I have a feeling this blog will begin to become something cathartic as well as showcasing what creative projects I am up to. I hope the whole project may inspire someone to explore their creative side too. We may smash some blocks together along the way. I plan to be as accountable and open as possible.

That said, I spent all day ill in bed with my demons. They poked fun at me whilst I let go of a whole load of baggage and snot from the last few months but in the end, my own challenge got the better of me. I sat and wrote my journal which always helps to clear out the dark thoughts and leave a nice space for a spot of creativity. I think it is like warming-up before exercise. Today I wrote a poem and this blog. Here it is. Happy creating! 

The Bag

I am picking up the pieces of all I used to be,

Looking in the mirror at a man that once was me.

A tattered bag of empty thoughts is slung across his back;

Histories etched in borrowed lines cross his face like cracks.

That man, that shell that I once was, no more inside me lies.

This sack of jokes and broken dreams has nothing more to hide.

The burdens that once crippled me have faded into dust.

I can no more see what it was that turned my bones to rust.

That sack of mine is full of junk that I no longer need

I think I’ll leave it by the way, the earth for which to feed.

Beneath it all new power grows, like nature in the Spring,

Renewed by love and time and hope, when birds return to sing.

So in this mirror I find myself, looking eye to eye,

Seeing who I really am that makes this man inside.

My present self stands tall and strong, monument and proud,

Upon the edge of everything, unfolding in the crowds.

Through every age we’ve fallen down, got up and tried again,

Determined to uncover the trueness of our names.

The time is ripe, the time is now, it has always just been so,

But drop that sack of junk you must to set your life to glow.

Matt Rivers

2^nd February 2016

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Create February Fabulous! is an idea or challenge to try and show up with your own creativity every day for the month of February. It is a simple idea. The creativity can take any form, and take any amount of time. Any media, any discipline, the only condition is to have fun. No critics, no judgement, just a celebration of our own unique human quality of creativity. You are encouraged to share your projects anywhere you like (only if you want) using the hashtag #createfebruary. Join the Facebook group, share on Instagram, blog about it, invite friends to some daily creativity. Let's see what we can create together. 

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!

The Forty Pilgrims Project - The Rift: Part 1

Day 13 to 25

We exist in a seemingly infinite Universe. We live in a constant evolving now that continually creates the very next moment. Each moment is unwritten and reveals untold potential. Anything can happen, nothing is written in stone and surprises and adventure abound. We are at a juncture in time and space where we are beginning to piece together the puzzle of consciousness, quantum physics and material reality.

Daring adventurers are cutting through the mainstream flow of thought to the very edge of human understanding. Scientists, meditators, creators, musicians, inventors, yogis, writers and explorers… people from all walks of life are beginning to wake up to their true nature. People around the world are pushing the boundaries of human understanding further and further. We are walking into the dream. We are beginning to realise that reality is an extension of our thoughts, that we are all connected, that consciousness is not limited to humans alone. We are beginning to see that we are magical beings, extensions of an unlimited universal field of energy that abounds in love, experience and expansion.

Quantum physicists are concluding that matter is mostly space and that reality exists where we focus. There is a leap to be made from observing the behaviour of atoms in a laboratory and observing the grand tapestry of life dancing in front of our eyes. If we can reduce the infinite potential of a wave of possibility down to a seemingly solid particle once we observe it, how then can we make the connection between the thoughts we think and the life we are currently experiencing?

The thoughts we think, the state of our mind and the thrum of our emotional levels are the tools we have in the grand experiment of life. Our thoughts and beliefs create our perceptions and our emotions are a bodily response to all that we think. We feel those emotions in our gut, our heart and all over our bodies. They are indicators of where we are right now. Think different thoughts, get different emotional responses. It goes deeper...

What if our body does not stop at our skin? What if we have an electro-magnetic field that extends outwards into ‘reality’ that interacts with everything we see? What if each living organism has a field and we are all living within the fields of each other, extending from the Sun to the Earth to the Moon and back again. What if everything we see is responding to us based on the thoughts and focus we choose? Just like the scientists in the lab observing electrons, when we are not focused on something, it is not there - existing as all possibilities. When we are focused on it, whether in reality, briefly, or in our imagination, up it pops! A song heard for the first time suddenly plays all day. A person in a crowd keeps popping up all over town. A friend we were just thinking of rings out of the blue.

Let us dive even deeper still. Thoughts create perceptions and vibrations to which all of reality is responding to. Matter is becoming stuff because of how and where we focus. This is complex and wonderful. Reality is literally forming around our beliefs and thoughts and our emotions are letting us know how we feel about these things. They are letting us know if we are in tune with our heart and soul. They are our inner guru - our personal guide to ourselves. We are all beautiful and amazing wonders of the Universe and when we think anything less of ourselves it hurts. Our emotions can tell us when the thoughts we have about ourselves are not true to our hearts knowledge.

As we grow up we gather a whole bunch of thoughts and ideas, beliefs and patterns. We know that some of these ideas and thoughts are great and make us happy. We follow our hearts and discover our passions. We fall in love, play and learn to focus on what makes us sing. We eat the food we like and avoid the food that tastes yucky.

The flip-side is that we also gather thoughts and ideas that do not serve us. Often we gather illusions of thought when we are young. These illusions hurt. They don’t feel good. We have emotional responses to the illusions. Remember, our emotions are trying to heal us and show us the way back to our heart so when we feel ugly or unworthy or useless, our emotions are trying to tell us to move away from these thoughts. They are asking us to listen to ourselves, to allow the flow of the emotion to move through our body and then move on to a better thought pattern.

We get stuck in these patterns but because life moves on. We push them down, glide over them, ignore them and keep a stiff upper lip. We live with a lump in our throat as we swallow our emotions. The patterns of thought that do not serve us get stuck in our bodies. Thoughts have weight. They are electrical impulses and we are electro-magnetic, organic beings made of atoms of Earth that came from stars! These stuck thoughts and related emotions wear us down and get stuck in our sub-conscious, forgotten by our forward focused mind. They get stuck in our muscles and organs and we become slow and stiff from the weight of unprocessed junk. We age and become cranky, thinking we are less than we are as some people excel to greatness, floating on the jasmine of life’s summer breeze.

We try new things or dream of other worlds of experience but can be held back by the limiting beliefs hidden within us. We tell ourselves we are not good enough, that we are unlucky, that life is disappointing or that we are blocked and guess what – life exists where you focus. The underlying belief manifests instead of the forward focused eagerness of our waking mind. When this happens enough, we become dejected, depressed, and tired of life. We think we are helpless. It seems ridiculous to hear that our thoughts create things. Life seems random and unfair. Don’t worry, things can change. Life is awesome and predisposed to wholeness. It is working to heal you even as we speak. There is a way forward and a way to let go of the thoughts that no longer serve you. There is a way to recognise the old patterns and move into a new paradigm of excitement, creativity and joy.

Over the last two weeks I have been stuck in patterns that have been desperate to be healed; patterns that have been underlying most of my thoughts and actions for most of my life. Patterns that are only now being revealed through the Forty Pilgrims Project, in which 53 people have begun to focus on new beginnings, new ideas, new wholeness and new experiences. Imagine all of that power of focus!

We are free to change how we think and where we focus. We can leave the jungles of our mind if we so choose and graze in the pastures of our dreams

Join me in ‘The Rift: Part 2’ as I explore limiting beliefs and how we can make the journey back to our hearts.

Love, love, love...


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'The Forty Pilgrims Project' series is a blog inspired by a journey. Simon Welsh, poet, writer and new paradigm adventurer is walking the Camino de Santiago - a simple mission to put one foot in front of the other. Carving out a journey over 1000km of trails, roads and pathways, he is heading for Santiago, and further yet to Finisterre, the ‘End of the World’. He carries with him 40 prayers, one for each day, one for each pilgrim that is energetically walking with him. He is supported by 12 guides, energetically supporting him from afar. 

This is my journal of his 'Forty Pilgrims Project' - an observation from the outside, as one of his guides and friends. An exploration of my own journey by his side, as we connect in the quantum field.

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!

The Forty Pilgrims Project - Baby Steps

Day 9, 10, 11 and 12

Progress along life’s path is never measured in even beats. Everything has its own rhythm, whether it is the beating of our own hearts, the gentle thrum and crash of waves, or the seasons of our lives. Sometimes we move in voluminous billows of action, like gathering clouds preparing for a hurricane and sometimes we can seem stuck in the mud, barely moving at all. Yet there is rhythm in everything, however fast or slow it may seem. There is a beautiful Japanese word for this natural rhythm present in everything – hyoshi – the sound of a child clapping.

When we can become one with the rhythm of what presents itself to us, then we begin achieving yoga or union within ourselves. Yoga is a state of consciousness we all possess that longs to be revealed. It is a state of oneness with everything around us. It sounds mystical and has many other definitions and interpretations but it is something we have all experienced. Oneness with the moment can be felt in the shower when there is just you and the cascading water. It can be felt when you are having a joyous day of adventure, where everything works, everything fits into place and you seem to be ‘on fire’! Yoga is the state of creativity when you are dancing, writing, drawing or singing and reality seems to disappear, leaving you in a state of flow. Your senses are heightened and your consciousness streams like the wind through the trees. Yoga is the potential within you longing to meet you in the present. Yoga is an inner peace that arises within you when you are fully immersed – running, stretching, breathing, praying, cooking, eating, loving…

Simon is practicing some beautiful walking yoga. He is connected to his pilgrims and guides, supported from near and far. The last time I wrote, I left him at Liendo after eight days of rambling. He had notched up 222km by then. What a lovely number! Four days have passed. Four slow days for me. Four walking pace days for him I am sure! As to his whereabouts at the moment, I am not entirely sure. He is a few days behind on his album updates on Facebook from whence I glean my knowledge. Most likely he has probably walked another 100km or so, through hill and dale, beach, wood and mountain.

The last four days have been slow for me – I have not walked so far. I have been listening to the hyoshi of my moments and have been seeking that state of yoga within. I know that sounds a little poncy but it has a very practical significance.

I cannot go any further without revealing a little of my intentions when I joined ‘The Forty Pilgrims Project’. As I have previously mentioned, this is a co-creative adventure connecting 53 people with a series of powerful quantum experiments. We are collectively healing, transmuting and manifesting a whole bunch of dreams, intentions, ideas and plans as Simon leads the way on his camino, physically taking steps, reading personal prayers he wrote, and connecting to the guides.

I spoke to him before he left. We discussed what I could offer him and the group as a guide. We discussed reiki, certain shamanic attunements, the violet flame and ideas such as focus and strength. He requested that I reveal an intention I would like to manifest over the next year. My intention is to rediscover my motivation to create more works of art – in writing, music and song. I have been struggling for years with confidence and various patterns that have prevented me from experiencing my full potential in this area of my life. Many other areas of my life are really quite fantastic and I would count myself as incredibly blessed to have created and manifested a wonderful experience for myself.

The thing is, Simon said it something like this, ‘You seem to have found your way into heaven but left a little bit of your soul outside the door’. He had hit the nail on the head. My deepest wish is to always be singing, writing and creating. It matters more than anything to me except I had forgotten. The gradual build-up of blocks and patterns I had in my head that stopped me being the artist I dreamed of became so big I had become numb to the beauty, genius and potential of myself. Take note, we all have these qualities. It can just take some work to realise it.

The night after I last wrote in this blog, I went up to the retreat to say goodbye to the last group. Somehow someone found out I was a singer and after a good hour of wrangling, I was eventually inspired to sing them some songs. We had a ball. There was so much joy that night. Everyone was singing along, I bowed to the hyoshi - the rhythm of that moment and found myself in yoga. Time and space faded away and there was just the connection to the guitar, my voice and the beautiful people around me. I basked in a feeling of joy for the next two days, remembering just what it feels like to be immersed in the thing you love the most.

Since then, the last four days have been a series of baby steps. That is all we can do in the moment as we are moving toward our dreams. A little practice here. An inspiring magazine clipping of a band stuck on the wall there. A little day-dreaming about songs exploding out of my head. A little focusing on my current blessings. A little poem. A bit more feeling good. Each action drawing in new ideas and energy.

Do what you can in the moment it presents itself. However small the action may seem – do it. Find your dream. Focus on it. Feel good about it. Whatever your intention is, however big or small – move toward it in any way you can each day. Don’t fight the hyoshi of the moment. Go with the flow. Glow with your flow. Go slow if it’s slow and show up if you can.

Remember, it is just one foot in front of the other. The only thing you need to focus on is the next logical step. Baby steps count. Trust them.

Love, love, love…

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'The Forty Pilgrims Project' series is a blog inspired by a journey. Simon Welsh, poet, writer and new paradigm adventurer is walking the Camino de Santiago - a simple mission to put one foot in front of the other. Carving out a journey over 1000km of trails, roads and pathways, he is heading for Santiago, and further yet to Finisterre, the ‘End of the World’. He carries with him 40 prayers, one for each day, one for each pilgrim that is energetically walking with him. He is supported by 12 guides, energetically supporting him from afar. 

This is my journal of his 'Forty Pilgrims Project' - an observation from the outside, as one of his guides and friends. An exploration of my own journey by his side, as we connect in the quantum field.

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!