Create February Fabulous! - The Darkness: Side Two

Day 4 and 5

The creative challenge continues. It is less challenging now and is turning into something I am very eager to partake in every day. I originally started this because I used to procrastinate massively. I love creating things but I always found an excuse not to do it. I came up with this project to see what would happen if I was accountable only to myself. Then I decided it might be a grand idea to share it. 

Sharing it is proving rather beneficial because I can see how other people create and that in itself is massively inspiring. For myself, I am uncovering some truths that I hope will in turn inspire other people to begin a creative habit of their own. I believe humans are meant to create and when we do, we tend to feel and act much better.

So here is Day 4 and 5. I have found myself returning to my main weapon of choice... words. The poems seem to be reflecting my burgeoning interest in my creativity. I don't spend overly long on each one. Perhaps 30 minutes. I like these short bursts of creativity. I like being kind to myself rather than critical and judgemental. Art needs love and nurturing, that is for sure.

The Shadow Light

Inside ourselves two halves are true
Living back to back
Without them both creates not you
A faded sense of lack

We push and shove one side right down
Pretend that it's not there
And when our faces start to frown
We say we just don't care

The shadow sits inside of us
Protects us from the rain
But when it starts to moan and fuss
We stamp and curse the pain

We blame the clouds, our mum and dad
We swallow all our fears
We point at all that we think bad
And struggle with our tears

But here's the thing, that dark inside
Is actually our friend
The shadow of our self it rides
A mirror to us sends

It shows us where our thinking stuck
It triggers us to deal
The shit we face is just good luck
Another chance to feel

So if you meet your darker side
Today then dance with glee
Embrace it with your arms spread wide
Just listen, look and see

Allow it to flow freely through
It may be fast or loud
The darkness is just cleaning you
Passing like a cloud

Just sit and be and breath and smile
Don't swallow, swear or fight
The storm will pass in just a while
Like day transforming night.

Matt Rivers
4th February 2016

 The Warrior

From humble tales, a boy once grew,

Small of frame, with eyes pale blue.

His hair like straw, reflecting light,

Gleaming sun in the dead of night.

His heart was full and bright with love

With wings so soft and light as doves.

Great plans he had and dreams of gold,

Adventures planned and journeys bold.

But grow he did as seasons passed.

The light inside, it did not last.

He drew into a place of gloom,

Where monsters roamed and sang of doom.

Here he learned to fight and dance,

To stand his ground and take a chance.

He tried to break the monster’s trap

But the beast was strong and kept him back.

Until one day he met a man

Whose light was fire inside his hands.

His skin so dark and eyes so pale,

Wise words he spun into a tale.

The monster that you fight so hard

Lives within your mind my child.

When you fight you give him power,

Forever over you he’ll tower.

Instead approach him softly slow,

Your heart stretched wide with all you know.

Embrace that many coloured beast,

For all he needs is gentle peace.

He stood and all at once could see

Just how life was meant to be.

He took the monster in his arms

And spoke brave words of love and calm.

Just then the sun through clouds did crack

His light and plans came rushing back.

But now the wild inside him thrived,

An infinite sea of dreams they dived.

Matt Rivers

5^th February 2016

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Create February Fabulous! is an idea or challenge to try and show up with your own creativity every day for the month of February. It is a simple idea. The creativity can take any form, and take any amount of time. Any media, any discipline, the only condition is to have fun. No critics, no judgement, just a celebration of our own unique human quality of creativity. You are encouraged to share your projects anywhere you like (only if you want) using the hashtag #createfebruary. Join the Facebook group, share on Instagram, blog about it, invite friends to some daily creativity. Let's see what we can create together. 

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!

Create February Fabulous! - The Darkness: Side One

Day 3

Create February Fabulous! is developing very nicely. Today has been a mix of writing and photography. It is not without its challenges as today's poem will attest to but that is the journey I was hoping to walk.

The little community of creative people around this project is slowly growing and people are contributing to the creativity in beautiful ways. Sewing, felting, poetry, photography, illustrations, baking, growing babies and growing ourselves! We are inherently creative beings and some great conversations are starting to blossom.

The Darkness

When darkness falls and comes for you,

He knocks on doors, it’s creepy true,

He slides through cracks and drips down pipes

And floods the cellar in the dead of night.

The darkness grows inside your mind

You search in vain but nothing find…

You start to tremble, moan and jerk,

The creeping doom is such hard work.

The moon has gone, the sun no more.

Shadows spread across the floor.

He fills your bones with a sense of dread.

You clench your jaw and bang your head.

He’s closer now, you feel his breath,

Cold and fog, it smells like death.

It’s all too much, you start to run,

This life has been too short of fun!

But wait, what’s this? A chink of light?

There’s hope still yet in the dead of night.

Tip-toe you step toward a flame,

A mirror dark reflects your name.

You stand and gaze upon yourself,

Dawn glimmers like an inside wealth.

The night you brought is clear to see

Waiting for you patiently…

Matt Rivers

3^rd February 2016

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Create February Fabulous! is an idea or challenge to try and show up with your own creativity every day for the month of February. It is a simple idea. The creativity can take any form, and take any amount of time. Any media, any discipline, the only condition is to have fun. No critics, no judgement, just a celebration of our own unique human quality of creativity. You are encouraged to share your projects anywhere you like (only if you want) using the hashtag #createfebruary. Join the Facebook group, share on Instagram, blog about it, invite friends to some daily creativity. Let's see what we can create together. 

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!

The Forty Pilgrims Project - The First Rays of Sun

Day 6, 7 and 8

There is a fresh feeling in the air after the storm. The atmosphere feels clear and full of promise. Things that once seemed dark are again illumined as sunlight glistens on drops of water nestled in leaves and puddles.

Storms always seem to echo human drama in such a wonderful way. Flashes of anger and vast rumbling clouds roll over our mostly sunny existence, obscuring the light, making it seem as if it has always been like that. Yet the clouds last only as long as we look at them and sometimes even less. Would that we could look past them, into the ever-lasting sun bath of space. Yet we would miss the life-giving force of the storm and that would be a shame.

It seems that shake-ups are necessary on a journey of the heart and soul. We have to face our tempests and walk bravely through them. Simon spent a day in the energy of the phoenix, the mythical bird of fire that heralds the transmuting force of death and rebirth. A storm bringer to be sure but death, whether metaphorical or actual, is an ending that marks a new beginning.

The storm can be full of scary stuff but it contains gifts. Once it passes, our lives can seem simpler. That first ray of sunshine striking the distant hills gives us pause… perhaps a new start is possible. Perhaps we can begin again. Perhaps we can change everything. Of course we can.

My last few days have been deliciously mellow after my own storm of a few days ago. I have begun to see the world in a different light. I feel more in control of myself. I feel like every day of this co-creative quest, every step Simon takes, I am taking with him. Stepping into my power, becoming more confident in my life, with myself, my choices, and my thoughts.

I have noticed a subtlety to my consciousness that I did not notice before. It lies in the present moment, at the point where we make choices. It is a rather ethereal thing, an awareness of heart and mind, and fear and love, an awareness of empowering or dis-empowering. It is an awareness that links my direct and future experiences with the choices of thought and focus I am making in any given moment. It is very new and yet ancient, something I have been looking for all my life, yet only now is making itself known. It feels like taking action upon the voice of my soul – choosing the higher pathway when presented with myriad options.

Even though ‘choosing the higher pathway’ sounds a bit dogmatic to my ears, it nicely echoes the guides’ prayer that I recite every morning and night. I prefer the idea that we can choose a more ‘empowering’ pathway without the notion of higher and lower. I think all pathways are imbued with purpose and spirit. Seeing the inherent gift in every pathway is a sure way to the freedom and joy we seek.

I want to explore this though because this is where I am and this is what the Forty Pilgrims Project is connecting me to right now. This empowering pathway means that I am choosing to listen to myself first when I feel an emotional reaction arising in me instead of acting out of fear. Instead of the knee-jerk defensive block, angry barking dog protecting his territory, I am feeling where the emotion comes from within me. I am deciding not to react and asking myself what it is I really want. Instead of living by default, getting bored with my job, being pissed off with my boss/lover/pet/friend/parent, focusing on the things that are stuck in my life, I am beginning to consciously look into the next step. What does this situation tell me about me? What is it I don’t want, thus what is it I do want? What future do I want for this planet? What part do I want to play in it? What can I focus upon that feels good?

I have started looking at all the great bits of my experience, all the bits of my life that are working. That has developed into seeing that all of the things I see and experience are in some way, parts of myself. I have been toying with loving them all. Tricky but interesting. I have begun making small physical baby steps toward some of my dreams – writing more often, picking up my guitar more often. I have started making a vision board. A visual reference of the kind of life I want to lead. I am feeling into that life just for a few moments every day. I have even begun overhauling my ideas about money – a subject for another day but interesting nonetheless. Perhaps the hardest bit, I am starting to live ‘now’ moments, fully immersed in them. I don’t know where this ship is going but I do know that I have control of the tiller and I am trimming my sails and starting to move along at a decent clip. Conscious living is an art! These are choices we all face and we always have the option of doing things differently to how we have done previously.

The awareness I have of the circle of 53 is growing. Each day I can feel a little more. Each day I feel more connected to Simon and to some of the other lovely souls on this journey. At the moment it is a purely energetic thing. A clairsentient knowing in my heart. I feel I am being slowly led back to myself and my full potential.

There is a magic woven into every moment but we have to slow down to see it. A magic that allows serendipitous events to occur. A magic that seeds life in every possible nook and cranny. A magic that lifts us from the cold of night into the brilliance of dawn. A magic that lets us know we are not alone, even when we are taking solitary steps along a lonely road. A magic that taps our feet at the beat of a drum. A magic that connects us through hearts and minds, culture and breath.

We are the masters of this magic. We are the ones that allow it in or not. We are the gardeners of our hearts, neglecting our dreams or nurturing them with daily love, positivity and appropriate choices. Here is to your garden and the seeds you plant within yourself. Here is to your dreams and the verdant pastures that are waiting to grow. Here is to you and me.

Love, love, love…

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'The Forty Pilgrims Project' series is a blog inspired by a journey. Simon Welsh, poet, writer and new paradigm adventurer is walking the Camino de Santiago - a simple mission to put one foot in front of the other. Carving out a journey over 1000km of trails, roads and pathways, he is heading for Santiago, and further yet to Finisterre, the ‘End of the World’. He carries with him 40 prayers, one for each day, one for each pilgrim that is energetically walking with him. He is supported by 12 guides, energetically supporting him from afar. 

This is my journal of his 'Forty Pilgrims Project' - an observation from the outside, as one of his guides and friends. An exploration of my own journey by his side, as we connect in the quantum field.

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!

The Forty Pilgrims Project - Thunder and Lightning

Day 5

Simon has been walking for five days now. Perhaps he has completed today’s walk – of this I am not sure. What I do know is that he has already walked over 100km from Irun to Zenarruza in Northern Spain. Each day, he has held in his heart a prayer and poetic portrait for one of the forty pilgrims that are on this journey with him. As one of his twelve energetic guides, I have sat for five days, morning and evening, offering my small yoga practice, meditation and a prayer to him and the circle of 53, that we may join together in an energetic focus to support and heal Simon as he walks, adding considerable power to the dreams and intentions of the group as a whole.

The journey for each of us holds different challenges. Simon has the challenge of walking a vast distance and maintaining his intention to make peace with his temptation. For the rest of us, we are moving through our day to day lives, observing his journey and walking our own pathways through conscious reality, perhaps making changes, cleaning out our bodies or minds, affirming our goals or maybe just observing life as we live it.

I have been soaked by unseasonal rain. The delicate pitter-patter of dry-land drenching water has been music to my ears as the oncoming storm approached since yesterday. The gardens I have worked on all winter have offered a silent thank you to the clouds, as the land greets the sky like an old friend.

Yet amid that poetic staccato, my mind has been crashing against my own conflicts. Since the journey began, I have become far more motivated to sit for my meditation and gently stretch my amazing body. We all have an amazing one you know. I have been far more motivated in sitting to write yet as with all powerful journeys of the heart and soul, we must face our demons at some point.

I crashed against the rocks of conflict today. I found myself in an argument I didn’t want to be in. My body trembling, my voice quivering, my hands shaking. I had fear running through my body and I felt it as I had done when I was a child and teenager, locking antlers with my peers and parents.

It was an old feeling, one that I most definitely instigated and the Universe reflected back at me with balletic precision. It felt like a crescendo of the frustration from the last few days. A building of thoughts that revolved around struggling with life and not being valued.

Our hearts, bodies and souls are conspiring with the Universe at large to make us whole and healthy again. Just look at what happens when you cut yourself - your body begins fixing that cut. It doesn’t stop at physical injuries – the ongoing healing extends infinitely into our minds and psyche, as the Universe reflects and throws up situations that mirror patterns of emotion and thought within us that are ready to be healed.

This wasn’t just a day when someone pissed me off and I got cranky and sarcastic and they got angry and I got scared. This was a day when another being, made of the same stuff as me, triggered an emotional response in me that woke me up to an old forgotten part of myself that has been hidden and wants to be hugged and healed.

Yes, the rascal did piss me off, but… I chose the reaction. I also chose the ensuing aftermath - a brooding vegetable chopper with a vengeance. But vegetables are kind, and gave me the rest I needed for my mind. My beans, having been finely sliced and washed, allowed me a gap to see what was really going on.

A broken part of me, a young version of me, one that witnessed conflict, one that was scared and thus defensive, one that felt worthless and undervalued and taken for granted was making itself known through this drama. The conflict was a gift – I had to just see it as so, in order to acknowledge this lost part of myself. What was needed was listening… and love.

As I write about it, I can feel that lost child peering around a corner in my mind, wondering if it is safe to come out. I can feel the circle of 53 and the power it has. It is a supportive structure, and the support flows both ways. All ways in fact, from guide to Simon to pilgrim to guide to guide to Simon – you get the picture.

It took me a while to understand this. Most of the day in fact. When these kinds of dramas arise with friends and family, with my lover, I seem to move through them quicker – because I love those people. I do not want to be in conflict with them. Sometimes it can be hard when the person who is triggering emotional responses in you is a stranger. We can be less likely to see the gift that the drama is offering. Yet I genuinely believe that every moment has something to offer us, even strangers are friends. The harshest of circumstances will yield a silver lining eventually. It all depends on how present we can be and how much we can listen. Not just with our ears, but with our hearts and bodies as well.

Our own universe is talking to us. Our reality and emotions are giving us signals to acknowledge our states of being. To bring a little love into our hearts - for others yes - but maybe, more importantly, for ourselves. That is where the magic lies… in recovering those lost little portions of ourselves and loving them back into ourselves fully.

Love, love, love…

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'The Forty Pilgrims Project' series is a blog inspired by a journey. Simon Welsh, poet, writer and new paradigm adventurer is walking the Camino de Santiago - a simple mission to put one foot in front of the other. Carving out a journey over 1000km of trails, roads and pathways, he is heading for Santiago, and further yet to Finisterre, the ‘End of the World’. He carries with him 40 prayers, one for each day, one for each pilgrim that is energetically walking with him. He is supported by 12 guides, energetically supporting him from afar. 

This is my journal of his 'Forty Pilgrims Project' - an observation from the outside, as one of his guides and friends. An exploration of my own journey by his side, as we connect in the quantum field.

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!