Day 2
I have doubts. I have fears. I have little voices telling me I am ridiculous and stupid. I have critics that tell me I am not good enough and plenty of demons on my shoulders telling me that I am not qualified to be an artist, not talented enough, not clever enough and not motivated enough. My darker side is trying to protect me. It is doing this based on information I was told when I was very little. None of it is true but the voices carry on.
I set out to just create something once a day and share it but I have a feeling this blog will begin to become something cathartic as well as showcasing what creative projects I am up to. I hope the whole project may inspire someone to explore their creative side too. We may smash some blocks together along the way. I plan to be as accountable and open as possible.
That said, I spent all day ill in bed with my demons. They poked fun at me whilst I let go of a whole load of baggage and snot from the last few months but in the end, my own challenge got the better of me. I sat and wrote my journal which always helps to clear out the dark thoughts and leave a nice space for a spot of creativity. I think it is like warming-up before exercise. Today I wrote a poem and this blog. Here it is. Happy creating!
The Bag
I am picking up
the pieces of all I used to be,
Looking in the
mirror at a man that once was me.
A tattered bag
of empty thoughts is slung across his back;
Histories etched
in borrowed lines cross his face like cracks.
That man, that
shell that I once was, no more inside me lies.
This sack of
jokes and broken dreams has nothing more to hide.
The burdens that
once crippled me have faded into dust.
I can no more
see what it was that turned my bones to rust.
That sack of
mine is full of junk that I no longer need
I think I’ll leave
it by the way, the earth for which to feed.
Beneath it all
new power grows, like nature in the Spring,
Renewed by love
and time and hope, when birds return to sing.
So in this
mirror I find myself, looking eye to eye,
Seeing who I
really am that makes this man inside.
My present self
stands tall and strong, monument and proud,
Upon the edge
of everything, unfolding in the crowds.
Through every
age we’ve fallen down, got up and tried again,
Determined to
uncover the trueness of our names.
The time is
ripe, the time is now, it has always just been so,
But drop that
sack of junk you must to set your life to glow.
Matt Rivers
2nd
February 2016
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Create February Fabulous! is an idea or challenge to try and show up with your own creativity every day for the month of February. It is a simple idea. The creativity can take any form, and take any amount of time. Any media, any discipline, the only condition is to have fun. No critics, no judgement, just a celebration of our own unique human quality of creativity. You are encouraged to share your projects anywhere you like (only if you want) using the hashtag #createfebruary. Join the Facebook group, share on Instagram, blog about it, invite friends to some daily creativity. Let's see what we can create together.
Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!
Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!
great expression, I totally get this. Hope your demons ease off a bit sooon :)
ReplyDeleteThanks E Gecko! Just learning how to move with them rather than wasting my time trying to silence them. The poem was the result of that! Gotta love those demons... much love x
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