Day 3 and 4
Today was one of those days we have all had. It starts off
great and gets a little more frustrating along the way, maybe it bounces back,
maybe it doesn’t. I am currently wondering how Simon’s last few days went, up
there in the north. Did he experience some frustration today and how did he
handle it? I watched a video of him marching up a rather steep hill having just
confronted some deeper aspects of himself. Such is a journey of the heart and
soul. We have to keep taking the next step.
Lately I’ve been surfing my frustration with a growing skill that I
have been slowly developing over the last twenty years. Before that, I was just
another angry teenager with no wish whatsoever to curb my tempestuous temper.
Back then I felt justified in my angst and heroic in my anger as I slayed my
foes in a righteous quest for freedom, truth and justice. I think we all know
the pattern. Life was unfair, people greedy and horrid, and school completely
sucked.
Nowadays, I tend to listen to my emotions and try and make decisions based on
acknowledging my feelings as guides. I then attempt to focus my thoughts in
order to arrive at new actions and greater possibilities. Sometimes I win,
sometimes I loose. The last few days have been tricky. It is a work in progress
– a grand experiment into conscious creation that has picked up speed over the
last few months. Perhaps I have always been at it… perhaps we are all at it,
for it is always hard to pinpoint when one begins this quest - if at all we
were never at it!
Anyhow, before I completely walk in the wrong direction,
let’s get back to the Pilgrims. As I said, my experiences and experiments in
conscious living have accelerated since I experienced the completion of an
attunement of a new facet of myself. Just a few weeks ago I read a book by my
reiki master, detailing the process of awakening the violet flame chakra within
our bodies. Through her, I began the attunement to this energy and chakra
centre over a year ago. Around about the same time it reached its completion, I
began reading about Simon’s project. But more on the Violet Flame in the coming
weeks as I don’t feel that now is quite the time to go into it. Suffice to say that I feel that this new energy drew me
toward The Forty Pilgrims Project as a resonance of my concentration of focus
upon potential, possibility and creative spirit. There are lots of resonant
factors between the two. But what has all this got to do with experiencing frustration
in our day to day lives?
Part of conscious creation and living is becoming self-referring.
It is understanding that the life you experience is a reflection of your own
mix of perceptions, ideas and thoughts. More than that, we draw to ourselves a
specific mix of co-created events that help us to let go of the old patterns
that no longer serve us so that we can move into higher paradigms of expression
and creativity. We work in groups of family and friends, helping each other
grow and expand. Sometimes we fall back and sometimes we suffer. Sometimes we
hold on to the past or fear the future. Yet here we are, experiencing and
creating life.
Put more simply, we have desires and dreams and fears and
preferences. All of us are different and have a different mix of these things.
Even trees and crabs and dogs and worms have preferences. Our fears and
blinkered views can hold us back for a time whilst we can also be switched on,
open and fruity! We can embrace life and expand, or hold onto limiting beliefs
and stunt our growth. Today and yesterday were some of those days when I witnessed,
from outside of my usual self, a whole bunch of those factors. I was subject to
a very clever play of interwoven moments and consciousness.
I am beginning to get the idea that if you start the day
with a more positive feeling then you can roll with that feeling. Waking up on the wrong side of bed, grumpy and rumpled often
produces a day of similar qualities. The opposite is also true. A day begun
with a positive outlook has more chance of staying on track and revealing
rainbow in the sky moments!
Well, I continued with my new daily habit of yoga,
meditations and guide prayers specific to the Project. I walked to work, feeling
good, but slightly conscious of knowing that I was holding onto a few thoughts
based on someone else’s opinion plus some of my own shadowy aspects. We are hosting
a new group of people at the retreat I work at and had been informed from
various sources what this would be like. The outlook was less than positive.
We can be influenced by other people’s opinions and actions
when we let them in – whether the words of our parents, teachers, well-meaning
friends or glossy magazines. Over the course of the day, I watched the play of
other people’s words upon my mind. I watched how some things slowly got me
stressed and how sometimes, instead of brooding and growling in my head, I focused on breathing into my heart. I watched myself growing in frustration and then letting it
go as I decided to make my own assessment of the situation. Sometimes I didn’t
make it and found myself barking in a corner of my head, cursing the world and
all who stand in it! ‘Breathe… come back into me’, said my heart.
Part of conscious living is also taking each moment as brand
new. So I watched my mind throw up old reactions to dramas that were thrown as
me. I paused to listen rather than reacting. I embraced my crazy mind. Gave it
an inner hug. Then I moved on. I stepped out of my frustrations with work,
people and life. I focused on the things in front of me. The music that was
playing, the vegetables I was chopping. Dramas seem to fade away when we
immerse ourselves in the moment and then seem trivial after all.
It seems that dramas create dramas, even before you get to
the drama. The opinions of others playing on your mind will tune you into that
opinion if you let it, leaving you looking out for the pitfalls and foibles of
other people’s woes.
If you take life as fresh, and each moment as individual,
then you can shift your relationship with old patterns of thought, allowing
space for solutions and insight to enter.
We each have a unique and individual relationship with every
facet of life, whether it be a concept, a person, an animal or a thing. When we
take on board the ideas and opinions of others as our own, especially before
the moment we have experienced that relationship for ourselves, we are not
truly living our own life, but the ideas of another. This serves us of course,
because our life is our life and our experience is our experience and we bring
ourselves to things through our choices and grow as a result of them. Yet it is
useful to recognise that embracing the opinions and ideas of another is a choice
as well.
We could just as easily let those opinions and ideas go and
choose to experience now - fresh. Just for ourselves. As if nobody had ever
been there before in that way… which is true.
No one has ever been you in this moment.
Love, love, love xxx
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'The Forty Pilgrims Project' series is a blog inspired by a journey. Simon Welsh, poet, writer and new paradigm adventurer is walking the Camino de Santiago - a simple mission to put one foot in front of the other. Carving
out a journey over 1000km of trails, roads and pathways, he is heading
for Santiago, and further yet to Finisterre, the ‘End of the World’. He carries
with him 40 prayers, one for each day, one for each pilgrim that is
energetically walking with him. He is supported by 12 guides, energetically
supporting him from afar.
This
is my journal of his 'Forty Pilgrims Project' - an observation from the
outside, as one of his guides and friends. An exploration of my own
journey by his side, as we connect in the quantum field.
Matt
is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is
exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the
waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are
adventures in themselves!
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