Day 26 to 40
We are living on the edge. We are poised at the forefront of
consciousness, soul adventurers awakening to our true nature yet something
feels wrong. Within us we feel a discord. We feel like we are incomplete and
disconnected from something we cannot explain. The disconnection we feel is
like a tide. It ebbs and flows, coming in waves as we satisfy our hunger
through material, emotional and spiritual desires then battle the emptiness
from not having our needs met.
There is a rift within us all. A rift born of our own minds.
One that must eventually be crossed if we are to feel connected and whole
again. A rift born of looking out into our reality searching for answers that
can only be found within. All of us will get there. All of us will stand upon
the edge at some point, looking into our darkest chasms, wondering how to cross
the void.
No master or teacher can make us cross. No one but our selves
can make the journey through that cavern of loneliness within. We are always
searching for answers and confirmation of who we are. We always seek to fill
the void. The mind, in its illusion of separation, seeks to fill its reality with
evidence of who it is and what life is about. We justify our emotional storms
through what we see, blaming our experience on others as ‘reality’ happens to
us – a random chance in a random Universe.
Yet, as with all of nature, there is another way. We can
begin to cross the void and understand that in fact, we happen to reality and
our experiences can be chosen. We can begin to understand our emotions and make
peace with the seemingly endless torrent of painful images, reactions and
dramas that beset our lives.
It is entirely possible to rise up and stand tall, deeply
rooted in life, accepting all that has gone before whilst riding the winds
and seas of time, surfing upon waves of magnificence, welcoming change and
challenge and ultimately, feeling connected, joyful and worthy.
Before we can see the possibility of this, we have to deal
with where we are and that is where the rift lies. We are often trapped by our
minds illusions. We can experience painful emotion, whether from something we
observe, someone we encounter, a song on the radio that brings back a memory,
or the empty mist of our current existence slowly pulling us down. Most of the
time we do one of two things - we blame our outer circumstances, at whatever
point in time they occurred thus continuing the pattern or we blame ourselves
and try and ‘fix’, ‘heal’, or ‘detox’ the discord within us, searching for that
elusive panacea.
Yet in each moment of our lives, whether elevated or
depressed, there is a gift. There is an opportunity to move forward, to grow,
to shift and become more illumined than we were before. If our experience is a
reflection of our consciousness, then each painful moment is giving us an
opportunity to embrace lost parts of ourselves. Instead of battling with the
outer circumstance, and opening the rift wider, we have a chance to cross it instead.
The answer is not where you think it lies. We do not need to
‘heal’ ourselves. We are already whole. We do not need to blame others because
our experience is a part of our own perceptions. Those ‘others’ are in fact
helping us to see what bits of us we need to embrace.
The practice is far simpler than we could imagine and is
available to everyone all the time. It takes time to perfect because we will
keep coming back to ourselves. We will keep surfing waves of experience. We will keep falling off. Just
like the ocean, the waves never stop. We can learn to ride them and have fun
while we do it. We can feel exhilarated.
Here are some ideas for crossing the void… Begin to notice.
Develop your attention and notice when your mind is running away. Begin to
notice when you are stuck in an emotional bubble. See if you can stop before
you react. Take a breath. Don’t act. Take your attention into your whole body.
Take your attention into every cell. Listen to your feet. Listen to your
fingers. Watch yourself. Feel the feelings you’re feeling without thinking you
have to do anything with them. Try not to fire them out of you into someone
else. Try not to 'fix' them or analyse them. Try not to justify them. Just let
them flow through you. Listen and breathe. Slow down - this next step can be
hard - embrace yourself. Whether in your mind or physically. Embrace that
feeling - however tough it is. Thank it for being part of you and your experience. Feel where the feeling is in your body. See if it moves
but don’t allow your mind to wander back into familiar territory. Just breathe
and relax and be. See what happens. Just see. Just be.
Over the last few months I have experienced a whole lot of
rifts. No doubt I will experience a whole lot more. My journey has taken me
through countless hours of meditation, yoga and healing and yet I still find
myself amid clouds of crazy emotions because we always sit on the peak of
duality. I still seek answers that ultimately lie within me.
This series of writings was born of a project that my friend
Simon started. He was walking a walk, taking people’s prayers and wishes with
him. I looked to him for an answer I had yet to find within myself. I
experienced a major rift with the project when I couldn’t find what I was
looking for. A few weeks afterwards, I was due to attend an ayahuasca ceremony
for the same reasons. I pulled out after an intuition that I was searching for
answers outside of myself, praying for something or someone to come and fix me and my life.
Only in the last week, as I walked through the gateway of my
own birthday did I realise that all I had to do was breath in and embrace
myself. All I had to do was listen to myself without judgement or blame. A lifetime of study, exploring countless facets of
consciousness and the pathway was simply there in front of me.
I am learning to listen to my heart. It is the voice that
speaks the grandest truth in each of our lives. When we can tune into our own
internal voice and listen to the murmurings of our own wisdom, then we begin to
make peace with where we are and move toward our dreams.
It has been almost four weeks since Simon completed his pilgrimage
across northern Spain. It has been longer since I experienced the rift which
disconnected me from the project, yet the project was a resounding success. Simon
has plans to go bigger and bolder, walking further, longer and involving more people
and more prayers. It is inspirational to watch such grand plans manifest.
The answers will come and well-being will flow when we
become open and receptive.
Let go of your mind. Let go of 'doing'. Expand the field of your attention.
Listen to your body and all your senses.
Just listen. Just breathe. Just be.
And then...
Just see.
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'The Forty Pilgrims Project' series is a blog inspired by a journey. Simon Welsh, poet, writer and new paradigm adventurer was walking the Camino de Santiago - a simple mission to put one foot in front of the other. Carving
out a journey over 1000km of trails, roads and pathways, he headed
for Santiago, and further yet to Finisterre, the ‘End of the World’. He carried
with him 40 prayers, one for each day, one for each pilgrim that was
energetically walking with him. He was supported by 12 guides, energetically
supporting him from afar.
This
is my journal of his 'Forty Pilgrims Project' - an observation from the
outside, as one of his guides and friends. An exploration of my own
journey by his side, as we connect in the quantum field.
Matt
is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is
exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the
waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are
adventures in themselves!
