A sheepish feeling runs through my body as I begin to type these words. I feel as if I have long been away, avoiding something that once started, quickly takes me over like a fever. I wonder why I spent so long away from this writing expression. I wonder who I let down after my protracted absence. Startled, I realise that the only person whose time I wasted was my own. The only person feeling sheepish happens to be the one who is writing.
The online Oxford Dictionary defines procrastination as 'the action of delaying or postponing something' and I have felt that feeling on and off for most of my life in various regards. Yet I wonder, who has not had this feeling from time to time and where does it come from? Procrastination seems to be a collective and individual response to a certain set of parameters that differ from our current state of being. Sometimes a knee-jerk reaction, sometimes a habitual predilection, born of some hidden motive. Most often, procrastination is associated with laziness and an unwillingness to begin or complete a task. We find all manner of useless things to get on with before embarking, if ever, on the actual job at hand. Cleaning, watching TV, tidying up files, ruminating, staring into space, drinking beer, fiddling with belly buttons. I think I have tried them all and declared myself an expert in most forms of distraction.
Yet, in my travels, I believe it to run deeper than simple laziness. The call to action challenges us to step out of our comfort zone. It beckons us to move into a different frequency of energy. It requires us to make a subtle and sometimes major shift not only in our physicality but in our mental state as well. Often our emotions get involved, heart pumping fast, seeking a way out, some kind of fear or lack of motivation taking hold.
For myself, I have long sought creative expression. I have written poems, songs and essays and for long periods of time I have avoided writing poems, songs and essays. Even this blog, meant to be a documentary and showcase of my travels in inner and outer space has often been put on hold. Not through any lack of wanting I might add. I have been frustrated, depressed and anguished, blocking my art and flow. Finding rhyme and reason for all my excuses. I have embarked on courses to release my creative voice... To banish my artists block! In looking at the blocks, I am sure I created the blocks. In creating blocks, albeit unconsciously, I came up with the techniques to fill my time whilst I avoided my work. Up until only just a few days ago, did I fail to realise that the best way to break the pattern of procrastination is to take a deep breath and jump right in. You see, I was procrastinating about everything; making friends, making plans, practicing yoga, writing songs, booking gigs, playing gigs, practicing guitar, finding jobs and ultimately... feeling good. How do we even procrastinate our way out of feeling good!?
It is not all bad though. Through all this non-action there have of course been moments of pure clarity and purpose. There have been moments of daylight. Moments of pure creation. Moments of frenetic activity. The procrastination has helped me to grow. It has fanned the flames of my inner yearning to do more and be more. In fact, this blog is a reflection of the journey out of procrastination more than the journey into it. It is a call to hope. A herald of free movement, excitement and joy beyond the desert of distraction that so many of us find ourselves in. It is indeed, a proffered hand, offering compassion and understanding, declaring that we are not in fact lazy when we procrastinate but perhaps, more accurately, not quite prepared for the coming change in our energy.
Procrastination offers a way out of action. It is a coping mechanism that activates when we are not up to speed with the vibration and energy that is required of us to make that leap from the old to the new. Often we are stuck in the energy of another task. Often we are stuck in the energy of inertia... a paradox you might say. Yet inertia is addictive. The brain creates short cuts for ease of use. Maybe we fear, for some reason or another doing that thing we so want to do or that task we have set for ourselves. Perhaps that fear came from an early age. We might think we are not good enough. Perhaps we got stuck in a pattern of thinking that is opposite to the task. In this then, procrastination is an avoidance of feeling good. At least, it is an avoidance of feeling really good. We feel relief when we procrastinate. Relief at not having to face judgement, criticism or effort expended. But what is this feeling compared to a job well done, a song well sung, or a painting well hung? What are we missing out on? What satisfaction and joy are we sacrificing for a temporary moment of relief in which to goggle at the latest apps available on android before coming up once again to that same moment of terror and indecision... act or procrastinate, act or procrastinate!
I have explored myself quite fully up to this moment in time. I have no doubt that there is an infinite cosmos more of myself which I can explore. Much like looking into space and identifying most of the stars, declaring that you have now explored all that you can see only to realise that if you travel to the furthest star in your known universe, you will observe a whole new set of wonders that you couldn't see from your stump. Well, that's me. On my stump, looking up. In my looking I have begun to see that what I thought I knew is only the beginning of me.
I have reached the edge of all I can take with procrastination. I have discovered that the best way to handle it is to love yourself and softly whisper in your own ear... 'This is going to be okay. I can do it. I am going to be fine'. Then you take a deep breath, imagine yourself doing whatever it is you were about to avoid, and with a massive smile on your face, leap right in and begin. In the ensuing moments, when the feeling of fear or procrastination is strong, you imagine the completion of the task and the joy you will feel when it is done.
I feel more positive and active now than I ever have done and it is growing day by day. Moving through procrastination gives you power to embark on new ventures. It gives you confidence because really, I think we are moving through fear into a place of action. But more so, I believe we are moving from a place of not being energetically ready into a place of preparing ourselves to accept life. I think, as we face our inertia, and first imagine our way through it, loving ourselves through it, we become more present. We can enter our bodies more fully and come more into harmony with our heart and our true self.
For me this is the key. Becoming present and taking time to feel good. Beginning a dialogue with my heart, listening to my positive emotions and following the direction that they point to. Focusing on the aspects of my life that feel good right now. Entering the moment and enlivening myself with good vibrations and only then moving into inspired action. I do not force myself to act but I do leap. Once I have worked myself up into a frenzy, the only thing left to do is leap, and there I go! I love myself. I talk with myself. I provide myself with enough love and encouragement needed for the frenzy and ensuing vault into the void. Now when I hit the chilly waters of my mountain pool of action, I find them invigorating instead of unbearable. Bit by bit I have trained myself in baby steps. Sometimes it takes moments. Other times, when the feeling of procrastination is strong, it takes a day or two. But move through I will for I want to be present and I want to embrace life.
There is a greater dream self in all of us, that eager, excited part of us that yearns for greater expression. It yearns to have fun, explore the world, laugh fully and vibrate with joy. If we can begin that small step of breaking through the most mundane of distractive habits, what fantastic adventures could we then take ourselves upon?! What dreams may come...
The online Oxford Dictionary defines procrastination as 'the action of delaying or postponing something' and I have felt that feeling on and off for most of my life in various regards. Yet I wonder, who has not had this feeling from time to time and where does it come from? Procrastination seems to be a collective and individual response to a certain set of parameters that differ from our current state of being. Sometimes a knee-jerk reaction, sometimes a habitual predilection, born of some hidden motive. Most often, procrastination is associated with laziness and an unwillingness to begin or complete a task. We find all manner of useless things to get on with before embarking, if ever, on the actual job at hand. Cleaning, watching TV, tidying up files, ruminating, staring into space, drinking beer, fiddling with belly buttons. I think I have tried them all and declared myself an expert in most forms of distraction.
Yet, in my travels, I believe it to run deeper than simple laziness. The call to action challenges us to step out of our comfort zone. It beckons us to move into a different frequency of energy. It requires us to make a subtle and sometimes major shift not only in our physicality but in our mental state as well. Often our emotions get involved, heart pumping fast, seeking a way out, some kind of fear or lack of motivation taking hold.
For myself, I have long sought creative expression. I have written poems, songs and essays and for long periods of time I have avoided writing poems, songs and essays. Even this blog, meant to be a documentary and showcase of my travels in inner and outer space has often been put on hold. Not through any lack of wanting I might add. I have been frustrated, depressed and anguished, blocking my art and flow. Finding rhyme and reason for all my excuses. I have embarked on courses to release my creative voice... To banish my artists block! In looking at the blocks, I am sure I created the blocks. In creating blocks, albeit unconsciously, I came up with the techniques to fill my time whilst I avoided my work. Up until only just a few days ago, did I fail to realise that the best way to break the pattern of procrastination is to take a deep breath and jump right in. You see, I was procrastinating about everything; making friends, making plans, practicing yoga, writing songs, booking gigs, playing gigs, practicing guitar, finding jobs and ultimately... feeling good. How do we even procrastinate our way out of feeling good!?
It is not all bad though. Through all this non-action there have of course been moments of pure clarity and purpose. There have been moments of daylight. Moments of pure creation. Moments of frenetic activity. The procrastination has helped me to grow. It has fanned the flames of my inner yearning to do more and be more. In fact, this blog is a reflection of the journey out of procrastination more than the journey into it. It is a call to hope. A herald of free movement, excitement and joy beyond the desert of distraction that so many of us find ourselves in. It is indeed, a proffered hand, offering compassion and understanding, declaring that we are not in fact lazy when we procrastinate but perhaps, more accurately, not quite prepared for the coming change in our energy.
Procrastination offers a way out of action. It is a coping mechanism that activates when we are not up to speed with the vibration and energy that is required of us to make that leap from the old to the new. Often we are stuck in the energy of another task. Often we are stuck in the energy of inertia... a paradox you might say. Yet inertia is addictive. The brain creates short cuts for ease of use. Maybe we fear, for some reason or another doing that thing we so want to do or that task we have set for ourselves. Perhaps that fear came from an early age. We might think we are not good enough. Perhaps we got stuck in a pattern of thinking that is opposite to the task. In this then, procrastination is an avoidance of feeling good. At least, it is an avoidance of feeling really good. We feel relief when we procrastinate. Relief at not having to face judgement, criticism or effort expended. But what is this feeling compared to a job well done, a song well sung, or a painting well hung? What are we missing out on? What satisfaction and joy are we sacrificing for a temporary moment of relief in which to goggle at the latest apps available on android before coming up once again to that same moment of terror and indecision... act or procrastinate, act or procrastinate!
I have explored myself quite fully up to this moment in time. I have no doubt that there is an infinite cosmos more of myself which I can explore. Much like looking into space and identifying most of the stars, declaring that you have now explored all that you can see only to realise that if you travel to the furthest star in your known universe, you will observe a whole new set of wonders that you couldn't see from your stump. Well, that's me. On my stump, looking up. In my looking I have begun to see that what I thought I knew is only the beginning of me.
I have reached the edge of all I can take with procrastination. I have discovered that the best way to handle it is to love yourself and softly whisper in your own ear... 'This is going to be okay. I can do it. I am going to be fine'. Then you take a deep breath, imagine yourself doing whatever it is you were about to avoid, and with a massive smile on your face, leap right in and begin. In the ensuing moments, when the feeling of fear or procrastination is strong, you imagine the completion of the task and the joy you will feel when it is done.
I feel more positive and active now than I ever have done and it is growing day by day. Moving through procrastination gives you power to embark on new ventures. It gives you confidence because really, I think we are moving through fear into a place of action. But more so, I believe we are moving from a place of not being energetically ready into a place of preparing ourselves to accept life. I think, as we face our inertia, and first imagine our way through it, loving ourselves through it, we become more present. We can enter our bodies more fully and come more into harmony with our heart and our true self.
For me this is the key. Becoming present and taking time to feel good. Beginning a dialogue with my heart, listening to my positive emotions and following the direction that they point to. Focusing on the aspects of my life that feel good right now. Entering the moment and enlivening myself with good vibrations and only then moving into inspired action. I do not force myself to act but I do leap. Once I have worked myself up into a frenzy, the only thing left to do is leap, and there I go! I love myself. I talk with myself. I provide myself with enough love and encouragement needed for the frenzy and ensuing vault into the void. Now when I hit the chilly waters of my mountain pool of action, I find them invigorating instead of unbearable. Bit by bit I have trained myself in baby steps. Sometimes it takes moments. Other times, when the feeling of procrastination is strong, it takes a day or two. But move through I will for I want to be present and I want to embrace life.
There is a greater dream self in all of us, that eager, excited part of us that yearns for greater expression. It yearns to have fun, explore the world, laugh fully and vibrate with joy. If we can begin that small step of breaking through the most mundane of distractive habits, what fantastic adventures could we then take ourselves upon?! What dreams may come...
