The Forty Pilgrims Project - The Rift: Part 2

Day 26 to 40

We are living on the edge. We are poised at the forefront of consciousness, soul adventurers awakening to our true nature yet something feels wrong. Within us we feel a discord. We feel like we are incomplete and disconnected from something we cannot explain. The disconnection we feel is like a tide. It ebbs and flows, coming in waves as we satisfy our hunger through material, emotional and spiritual desires then battle the emptiness from not having our needs met.

There is a rift within us all. A rift born of our own minds. One that must eventually be crossed if we are to feel connected and whole again. A rift born of looking out into our reality searching for answers that can only be found within. All of us will get there. All of us will stand upon the edge at some point, looking into our darkest chasms, wondering how to cross the void.

No master or teacher can make us cross. No one but our selves can make the journey through that cavern of loneliness within. We are always searching for answers and confirmation of who we are. We always seek to fill the void. The mind, in its illusion of separation, seeks to fill its reality with evidence of who it is and what life is about. We justify our emotional storms through what we see, blaming our experience on others as ‘reality’ happens to us – a random chance in a random Universe.

Yet, as with all of nature, there is another way. We can begin to cross the void and understand that in fact, we happen to reality and our experiences can be chosen. We can begin to understand our emotions and make peace with the seemingly endless torrent of painful images, reactions and dramas that beset our lives.

It is entirely possible to rise up and stand tall, deeply rooted in life, accepting all that has gone before whilst riding the winds and seas of time, surfing upon waves of magnificence, welcoming change and challenge and ultimately, feeling connected, joyful and worthy.

Before we can see the possibility of this, we have to deal with where we are and that is where the rift lies. We are often trapped by our minds illusions. We can experience painful emotion, whether from something we observe, someone we encounter, a song on the radio that brings back a memory, or the empty mist of our current existence slowly pulling us down. Most of the time we do one of two things - we blame our outer circumstances, at whatever point in time they occurred thus continuing the pattern or we blame ourselves and try and ‘fix’, ‘heal’, or ‘detox’ the discord within us, searching for that elusive panacea.

Yet in each moment of our lives, whether elevated or depressed, there is a gift. There is an opportunity to move forward, to grow, to shift and become more illumined than we were before. If our experience is a reflection of our consciousness, then each painful moment is giving us an opportunity to embrace lost parts of ourselves. Instead of battling with the outer circumstance, and opening the rift wider, we have a chance to cross it instead.

The answer is not where you think it lies. We do not need to ‘heal’ ourselves. We are already whole. We do not need to blame others because our experience is a part of our own perceptions. Those ‘others’ are in fact helping us to see what bits of us we need to embrace.

The practice is far simpler than we could imagine and is available to everyone all the time. It takes time to perfect because we will keep coming back to ourselves. We will keep surfing waves of experience. We will keep falling off. Just like the ocean, the waves never stop. We can learn to ride them and have fun while we do it. We can feel exhilarated.

Here are some ideas for crossing the void… Begin to notice. Develop your attention and notice when your mind is running away. Begin to notice when you are stuck in an emotional bubble. See if you can stop before you react. Take a breath. Don’t act. Take your attention into your whole body. Take your attention into every cell. Listen to your feet. Listen to your fingers. Watch yourself. Feel the feelings you’re feeling without thinking you have to do anything with them. Try not to fire them out of you into someone else. Try not to 'fix' them or analyse them. Try not to justify them. Just let them flow through you. Listen and breathe. Slow down - this next step can be hard - embrace yourself. Whether in your mind or physically. Embrace that feeling - however tough it is. Thank it for being part of you and your experience. Feel where the feeling is in your body. See if it moves but don’t allow your mind to wander back into familiar territory. Just breathe and relax and be. See what happens. Just see. Just be.

Over the last few months I have experienced a whole lot of rifts. No doubt I will experience a whole lot more. My journey has taken me through countless hours of meditation, yoga and healing and yet I still find myself amid clouds of crazy emotions because we always sit on the peak of duality. I still seek answers that ultimately lie within me.

This series of writings was born of a project that my friend Simon started. He was walking a walk, taking people’s prayers and wishes with him. I looked to him for an answer I had yet to find within myself. I experienced a major rift with the project when I couldn’t find what I was looking for. A few weeks afterwards, I was due to attend an ayahuasca ceremony for the same reasons. I pulled out after an intuition that I was searching for answers outside of myself, praying for something or someone to come and fix me and my life.

Only in the last week, as I walked through the gateway of my own birthday did I realise that all I had to do was breath in and embrace myself. All I had to do was listen to myself without judgement or blame. A lifetime of study, exploring countless facets of consciousness and the pathway was simply there in front of me.

I am learning to listen to my heart. It is the voice that speaks the grandest truth in each of our lives. When we can tune into our own internal voice and listen to the murmurings of our own wisdom, then we begin to make peace with where we are and move toward our dreams.

It has been almost four weeks since Simon completed his pilgrimage across northern Spain. It has been longer since I experienced the rift which disconnected me from the project, yet the project was a resounding success. Simon has plans to go bigger and bolder, walking further, longer and involving more people and more prayers. It is inspirational to watch such grand plans manifest.

 

The answers will come and well-being will flow when we become open and receptive.

Let go of your mind. Let go of 'doing'. Expand the field of your attention. Listen to your body and all your senses.

Just listen. Just breathe. Just be.

And then...

Just see.

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'The Forty Pilgrims Project' series is a blog inspired by a journey. Simon Welsh, poet, writer and new paradigm adventurer was walking the Camino de Santiago - a simple mission to put one foot in front of the other. Carving out a journey over 1000km of trails, roads and pathways, he headed for Santiago, and further yet to Finisterre, the ‘End of the World’. He carried with him 40 prayers, one for each day, one for each pilgrim that was energetically walking with him. He was supported by 12 guides, energetically supporting him from afar. 

This is my journal of his 'Forty Pilgrims Project' - an observation from the outside, as one of his guides and friends. An exploration of my own journey by his side, as we connect in the quantum field.

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!

The Forty Pilgrims Project - The Rift: Part 1

Day 13 to 25

We exist in a seemingly infinite Universe. We live in a constant evolving now that continually creates the very next moment. Each moment is unwritten and reveals untold potential. Anything can happen, nothing is written in stone and surprises and adventure abound. We are at a juncture in time and space where we are beginning to piece together the puzzle of consciousness, quantum physics and material reality.

Daring adventurers are cutting through the mainstream flow of thought to the very edge of human understanding. Scientists, meditators, creators, musicians, inventors, yogis, writers and explorers… people from all walks of life are beginning to wake up to their true nature. People around the world are pushing the boundaries of human understanding further and further. We are walking into the dream. We are beginning to realise that reality is an extension of our thoughts, that we are all connected, that consciousness is not limited to humans alone. We are beginning to see that we are magical beings, extensions of an unlimited universal field of energy that abounds in love, experience and expansion.

Quantum physicists are concluding that matter is mostly space and that reality exists where we focus. There is a leap to be made from observing the behaviour of atoms in a laboratory and observing the grand tapestry of life dancing in front of our eyes. If we can reduce the infinite potential of a wave of possibility down to a seemingly solid particle once we observe it, how then can we make the connection between the thoughts we think and the life we are currently experiencing?

The thoughts we think, the state of our mind and the thrum of our emotional levels are the tools we have in the grand experiment of life. Our thoughts and beliefs create our perceptions and our emotions are a bodily response to all that we think. We feel those emotions in our gut, our heart and all over our bodies. They are indicators of where we are right now. Think different thoughts, get different emotional responses. It goes deeper...

What if our body does not stop at our skin? What if we have an electro-magnetic field that extends outwards into ‘reality’ that interacts with everything we see? What if each living organism has a field and we are all living within the fields of each other, extending from the Sun to the Earth to the Moon and back again. What if everything we see is responding to us based on the thoughts and focus we choose? Just like the scientists in the lab observing electrons, when we are not focused on something, it is not there - existing as all possibilities. When we are focused on it, whether in reality, briefly, or in our imagination, up it pops! A song heard for the first time suddenly plays all day. A person in a crowd keeps popping up all over town. A friend we were just thinking of rings out of the blue.

Let us dive even deeper still. Thoughts create perceptions and vibrations to which all of reality is responding to. Matter is becoming stuff because of how and where we focus. This is complex and wonderful. Reality is literally forming around our beliefs and thoughts and our emotions are letting us know how we feel about these things. They are letting us know if we are in tune with our heart and soul. They are our inner guru - our personal guide to ourselves. We are all beautiful and amazing wonders of the Universe and when we think anything less of ourselves it hurts. Our emotions can tell us when the thoughts we have about ourselves are not true to our hearts knowledge.

As we grow up we gather a whole bunch of thoughts and ideas, beliefs and patterns. We know that some of these ideas and thoughts are great and make us happy. We follow our hearts and discover our passions. We fall in love, play and learn to focus on what makes us sing. We eat the food we like and avoid the food that tastes yucky.

The flip-side is that we also gather thoughts and ideas that do not serve us. Often we gather illusions of thought when we are young. These illusions hurt. They don’t feel good. We have emotional responses to the illusions. Remember, our emotions are trying to heal us and show us the way back to our heart so when we feel ugly or unworthy or useless, our emotions are trying to tell us to move away from these thoughts. They are asking us to listen to ourselves, to allow the flow of the emotion to move through our body and then move on to a better thought pattern.

We get stuck in these patterns but because life moves on. We push them down, glide over them, ignore them and keep a stiff upper lip. We live with a lump in our throat as we swallow our emotions. The patterns of thought that do not serve us get stuck in our bodies. Thoughts have weight. They are electrical impulses and we are electro-magnetic, organic beings made of atoms of Earth that came from stars! These stuck thoughts and related emotions wear us down and get stuck in our sub-conscious, forgotten by our forward focused mind. They get stuck in our muscles and organs and we become slow and stiff from the weight of unprocessed junk. We age and become cranky, thinking we are less than we are as some people excel to greatness, floating on the jasmine of life’s summer breeze.

We try new things or dream of other worlds of experience but can be held back by the limiting beliefs hidden within us. We tell ourselves we are not good enough, that we are unlucky, that life is disappointing or that we are blocked and guess what – life exists where you focus. The underlying belief manifests instead of the forward focused eagerness of our waking mind. When this happens enough, we become dejected, depressed, and tired of life. We think we are helpless. It seems ridiculous to hear that our thoughts create things. Life seems random and unfair. Don’t worry, things can change. Life is awesome and predisposed to wholeness. It is working to heal you even as we speak. There is a way forward and a way to let go of the thoughts that no longer serve you. There is a way to recognise the old patterns and move into a new paradigm of excitement, creativity and joy.

Over the last two weeks I have been stuck in patterns that have been desperate to be healed; patterns that have been underlying most of my thoughts and actions for most of my life. Patterns that are only now being revealed through the Forty Pilgrims Project, in which 53 people have begun to focus on new beginnings, new ideas, new wholeness and new experiences. Imagine all of that power of focus!

We are free to change how we think and where we focus. We can leave the jungles of our mind if we so choose and graze in the pastures of our dreams

Join me in ‘The Rift: Part 2’ as I explore limiting beliefs and how we can make the journey back to our hearts.

Love, love, love...


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'The Forty Pilgrims Project' series is a blog inspired by a journey. Simon Welsh, poet, writer and new paradigm adventurer is walking the Camino de Santiago - a simple mission to put one foot in front of the other. Carving out a journey over 1000km of trails, roads and pathways, he is heading for Santiago, and further yet to Finisterre, the ‘End of the World’. He carries with him 40 prayers, one for each day, one for each pilgrim that is energetically walking with him. He is supported by 12 guides, energetically supporting him from afar. 

This is my journal of his 'Forty Pilgrims Project' - an observation from the outside, as one of his guides and friends. An exploration of my own journey by his side, as we connect in the quantum field.

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!

The Forty Pilgrims Project - Baby Steps

Day 9, 10, 11 and 12

Progress along life’s path is never measured in even beats. Everything has its own rhythm, whether it is the beating of our own hearts, the gentle thrum and crash of waves, or the seasons of our lives. Sometimes we move in voluminous billows of action, like gathering clouds preparing for a hurricane and sometimes we can seem stuck in the mud, barely moving at all. Yet there is rhythm in everything, however fast or slow it may seem. There is a beautiful Japanese word for this natural rhythm present in everything – hyoshi – the sound of a child clapping.

When we can become one with the rhythm of what presents itself to us, then we begin achieving yoga or union within ourselves. Yoga is a state of consciousness we all possess that longs to be revealed. It is a state of oneness with everything around us. It sounds mystical and has many other definitions and interpretations but it is something we have all experienced. Oneness with the moment can be felt in the shower when there is just you and the cascading water. It can be felt when you are having a joyous day of adventure, where everything works, everything fits into place and you seem to be ‘on fire’! Yoga is the state of creativity when you are dancing, writing, drawing or singing and reality seems to disappear, leaving you in a state of flow. Your senses are heightened and your consciousness streams like the wind through the trees. Yoga is the potential within you longing to meet you in the present. Yoga is an inner peace that arises within you when you are fully immersed – running, stretching, breathing, praying, cooking, eating, loving…

Simon is practicing some beautiful walking yoga. He is connected to his pilgrims and guides, supported from near and far. The last time I wrote, I left him at Liendo after eight days of rambling. He had notched up 222km by then. What a lovely number! Four days have passed. Four slow days for me. Four walking pace days for him I am sure! As to his whereabouts at the moment, I am not entirely sure. He is a few days behind on his album updates on Facebook from whence I glean my knowledge. Most likely he has probably walked another 100km or so, through hill and dale, beach, wood and mountain.

The last four days have been slow for me – I have not walked so far. I have been listening to the hyoshi of my moments and have been seeking that state of yoga within. I know that sounds a little poncy but it has a very practical significance.

I cannot go any further without revealing a little of my intentions when I joined ‘The Forty Pilgrims Project’. As I have previously mentioned, this is a co-creative adventure connecting 53 people with a series of powerful quantum experiments. We are collectively healing, transmuting and manifesting a whole bunch of dreams, intentions, ideas and plans as Simon leads the way on his camino, physically taking steps, reading personal prayers he wrote, and connecting to the guides.

I spoke to him before he left. We discussed what I could offer him and the group as a guide. We discussed reiki, certain shamanic attunements, the violet flame and ideas such as focus and strength. He requested that I reveal an intention I would like to manifest over the next year. My intention is to rediscover my motivation to create more works of art – in writing, music and song. I have been struggling for years with confidence and various patterns that have prevented me from experiencing my full potential in this area of my life. Many other areas of my life are really quite fantastic and I would count myself as incredibly blessed to have created and manifested a wonderful experience for myself.

The thing is, Simon said it something like this, ‘You seem to have found your way into heaven but left a little bit of your soul outside the door’. He had hit the nail on the head. My deepest wish is to always be singing, writing and creating. It matters more than anything to me except I had forgotten. The gradual build-up of blocks and patterns I had in my head that stopped me being the artist I dreamed of became so big I had become numb to the beauty, genius and potential of myself. Take note, we all have these qualities. It can just take some work to realise it.

The night after I last wrote in this blog, I went up to the retreat to say goodbye to the last group. Somehow someone found out I was a singer and after a good hour of wrangling, I was eventually inspired to sing them some songs. We had a ball. There was so much joy that night. Everyone was singing along, I bowed to the hyoshi - the rhythm of that moment and found myself in yoga. Time and space faded away and there was just the connection to the guitar, my voice and the beautiful people around me. I basked in a feeling of joy for the next two days, remembering just what it feels like to be immersed in the thing you love the most.

Since then, the last four days have been a series of baby steps. That is all we can do in the moment as we are moving toward our dreams. A little practice here. An inspiring magazine clipping of a band stuck on the wall there. A little day-dreaming about songs exploding out of my head. A little focusing on my current blessings. A little poem. A bit more feeling good. Each action drawing in new ideas and energy.

Do what you can in the moment it presents itself. However small the action may seem – do it. Find your dream. Focus on it. Feel good about it. Whatever your intention is, however big or small – move toward it in any way you can each day. Don’t fight the hyoshi of the moment. Go with the flow. Glow with your flow. Go slow if it’s slow and show up if you can.

Remember, it is just one foot in front of the other. The only thing you need to focus on is the next logical step. Baby steps count. Trust them.

Love, love, love…

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'The Forty Pilgrims Project' series is a blog inspired by a journey. Simon Welsh, poet, writer and new paradigm adventurer is walking the Camino de Santiago - a simple mission to put one foot in front of the other. Carving out a journey over 1000km of trails, roads and pathways, he is heading for Santiago, and further yet to Finisterre, the ‘End of the World’. He carries with him 40 prayers, one for each day, one for each pilgrim that is energetically walking with him. He is supported by 12 guides, energetically supporting him from afar. 

This is my journal of his 'Forty Pilgrims Project' - an observation from the outside, as one of his guides and friends. An exploration of my own journey by his side, as we connect in the quantum field.

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!

The Forty Pilgrims Project - The First Rays of Sun

Day 6, 7 and 8

There is a fresh feeling in the air after the storm. The atmosphere feels clear and full of promise. Things that once seemed dark are again illumined as sunlight glistens on drops of water nestled in leaves and puddles.

Storms always seem to echo human drama in such a wonderful way. Flashes of anger and vast rumbling clouds roll over our mostly sunny existence, obscuring the light, making it seem as if it has always been like that. Yet the clouds last only as long as we look at them and sometimes even less. Would that we could look past them, into the ever-lasting sun bath of space. Yet we would miss the life-giving force of the storm and that would be a shame.

It seems that shake-ups are necessary on a journey of the heart and soul. We have to face our tempests and walk bravely through them. Simon spent a day in the energy of the phoenix, the mythical bird of fire that heralds the transmuting force of death and rebirth. A storm bringer to be sure but death, whether metaphorical or actual, is an ending that marks a new beginning.

The storm can be full of scary stuff but it contains gifts. Once it passes, our lives can seem simpler. That first ray of sunshine striking the distant hills gives us pause… perhaps a new start is possible. Perhaps we can begin again. Perhaps we can change everything. Of course we can.

My last few days have been deliciously mellow after my own storm of a few days ago. I have begun to see the world in a different light. I feel more in control of myself. I feel like every day of this co-creative quest, every step Simon takes, I am taking with him. Stepping into my power, becoming more confident in my life, with myself, my choices, and my thoughts.

I have noticed a subtlety to my consciousness that I did not notice before. It lies in the present moment, at the point where we make choices. It is a rather ethereal thing, an awareness of heart and mind, and fear and love, an awareness of empowering or dis-empowering. It is an awareness that links my direct and future experiences with the choices of thought and focus I am making in any given moment. It is very new and yet ancient, something I have been looking for all my life, yet only now is making itself known. It feels like taking action upon the voice of my soul – choosing the higher pathway when presented with myriad options.

Even though ‘choosing the higher pathway’ sounds a bit dogmatic to my ears, it nicely echoes the guides’ prayer that I recite every morning and night. I prefer the idea that we can choose a more ‘empowering’ pathway without the notion of higher and lower. I think all pathways are imbued with purpose and spirit. Seeing the inherent gift in every pathway is a sure way to the freedom and joy we seek.

I want to explore this though because this is where I am and this is what the Forty Pilgrims Project is connecting me to right now. This empowering pathway means that I am choosing to listen to myself first when I feel an emotional reaction arising in me instead of acting out of fear. Instead of the knee-jerk defensive block, angry barking dog protecting his territory, I am feeling where the emotion comes from within me. I am deciding not to react and asking myself what it is I really want. Instead of living by default, getting bored with my job, being pissed off with my boss/lover/pet/friend/parent, focusing on the things that are stuck in my life, I am beginning to consciously look into the next step. What does this situation tell me about me? What is it I don’t want, thus what is it I do want? What future do I want for this planet? What part do I want to play in it? What can I focus upon that feels good?

I have started looking at all the great bits of my experience, all the bits of my life that are working. That has developed into seeing that all of the things I see and experience are in some way, parts of myself. I have been toying with loving them all. Tricky but interesting. I have begun making small physical baby steps toward some of my dreams – writing more often, picking up my guitar more often. I have started making a vision board. A visual reference of the kind of life I want to lead. I am feeling into that life just for a few moments every day. I have even begun overhauling my ideas about money – a subject for another day but interesting nonetheless. Perhaps the hardest bit, I am starting to live ‘now’ moments, fully immersed in them. I don’t know where this ship is going but I do know that I have control of the tiller and I am trimming my sails and starting to move along at a decent clip. Conscious living is an art! These are choices we all face and we always have the option of doing things differently to how we have done previously.

The awareness I have of the circle of 53 is growing. Each day I can feel a little more. Each day I feel more connected to Simon and to some of the other lovely souls on this journey. At the moment it is a purely energetic thing. A clairsentient knowing in my heart. I feel I am being slowly led back to myself and my full potential.

There is a magic woven into every moment but we have to slow down to see it. A magic that allows serendipitous events to occur. A magic that seeds life in every possible nook and cranny. A magic that lifts us from the cold of night into the brilliance of dawn. A magic that lets us know we are not alone, even when we are taking solitary steps along a lonely road. A magic that taps our feet at the beat of a drum. A magic that connects us through hearts and minds, culture and breath.

We are the masters of this magic. We are the ones that allow it in or not. We are the gardeners of our hearts, neglecting our dreams or nurturing them with daily love, positivity and appropriate choices. Here is to your garden and the seeds you plant within yourself. Here is to your dreams and the verdant pastures that are waiting to grow. Here is to you and me.

Love, love, love…

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'The Forty Pilgrims Project' series is a blog inspired by a journey. Simon Welsh, poet, writer and new paradigm adventurer is walking the Camino de Santiago - a simple mission to put one foot in front of the other. Carving out a journey over 1000km of trails, roads and pathways, he is heading for Santiago, and further yet to Finisterre, the ‘End of the World’. He carries with him 40 prayers, one for each day, one for each pilgrim that is energetically walking with him. He is supported by 12 guides, energetically supporting him from afar. 

This is my journal of his 'Forty Pilgrims Project' - an observation from the outside, as one of his guides and friends. An exploration of my own journey by his side, as we connect in the quantum field.

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!

The Forty Pilgrims Project - Thunder and Lightning

Day 5

Simon has been walking for five days now. Perhaps he has completed today’s walk – of this I am not sure. What I do know is that he has already walked over 100km from Irun to Zenarruza in Northern Spain. Each day, he has held in his heart a prayer and poetic portrait for one of the forty pilgrims that are on this journey with him. As one of his twelve energetic guides, I have sat for five days, morning and evening, offering my small yoga practice, meditation and a prayer to him and the circle of 53, that we may join together in an energetic focus to support and heal Simon as he walks, adding considerable power to the dreams and intentions of the group as a whole.

The journey for each of us holds different challenges. Simon has the challenge of walking a vast distance and maintaining his intention to make peace with his temptation. For the rest of us, we are moving through our day to day lives, observing his journey and walking our own pathways through conscious reality, perhaps making changes, cleaning out our bodies or minds, affirming our goals or maybe just observing life as we live it.

I have been soaked by unseasonal rain. The delicate pitter-patter of dry-land drenching water has been music to my ears as the oncoming storm approached since yesterday. The gardens I have worked on all winter have offered a silent thank you to the clouds, as the land greets the sky like an old friend.

Yet amid that poetic staccato, my mind has been crashing against my own conflicts. Since the journey began, I have become far more motivated to sit for my meditation and gently stretch my amazing body. We all have an amazing one you know. I have been far more motivated in sitting to write yet as with all powerful journeys of the heart and soul, we must face our demons at some point.

I crashed against the rocks of conflict today. I found myself in an argument I didn’t want to be in. My body trembling, my voice quivering, my hands shaking. I had fear running through my body and I felt it as I had done when I was a child and teenager, locking antlers with my peers and parents.

It was an old feeling, one that I most definitely instigated and the Universe reflected back at me with balletic precision. It felt like a crescendo of the frustration from the last few days. A building of thoughts that revolved around struggling with life and not being valued.

Our hearts, bodies and souls are conspiring with the Universe at large to make us whole and healthy again. Just look at what happens when you cut yourself - your body begins fixing that cut. It doesn’t stop at physical injuries – the ongoing healing extends infinitely into our minds and psyche, as the Universe reflects and throws up situations that mirror patterns of emotion and thought within us that are ready to be healed.

This wasn’t just a day when someone pissed me off and I got cranky and sarcastic and they got angry and I got scared. This was a day when another being, made of the same stuff as me, triggered an emotional response in me that woke me up to an old forgotten part of myself that has been hidden and wants to be hugged and healed.

Yes, the rascal did piss me off, but… I chose the reaction. I also chose the ensuing aftermath - a brooding vegetable chopper with a vengeance. But vegetables are kind, and gave me the rest I needed for my mind. My beans, having been finely sliced and washed, allowed me a gap to see what was really going on.

A broken part of me, a young version of me, one that witnessed conflict, one that was scared and thus defensive, one that felt worthless and undervalued and taken for granted was making itself known through this drama. The conflict was a gift – I had to just see it as so, in order to acknowledge this lost part of myself. What was needed was listening… and love.

As I write about it, I can feel that lost child peering around a corner in my mind, wondering if it is safe to come out. I can feel the circle of 53 and the power it has. It is a supportive structure, and the support flows both ways. All ways in fact, from guide to Simon to pilgrim to guide to guide to Simon – you get the picture.

It took me a while to understand this. Most of the day in fact. When these kinds of dramas arise with friends and family, with my lover, I seem to move through them quicker – because I love those people. I do not want to be in conflict with them. Sometimes it can be hard when the person who is triggering emotional responses in you is a stranger. We can be less likely to see the gift that the drama is offering. Yet I genuinely believe that every moment has something to offer us, even strangers are friends. The harshest of circumstances will yield a silver lining eventually. It all depends on how present we can be and how much we can listen. Not just with our ears, but with our hearts and bodies as well.

Our own universe is talking to us. Our reality and emotions are giving us signals to acknowledge our states of being. To bring a little love into our hearts - for others yes - but maybe, more importantly, for ourselves. That is where the magic lies… in recovering those lost little portions of ourselves and loving them back into ourselves fully.

Love, love, love…

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'The Forty Pilgrims Project' series is a blog inspired by a journey. Simon Welsh, poet, writer and new paradigm adventurer is walking the Camino de Santiago - a simple mission to put one foot in front of the other. Carving out a journey over 1000km of trails, roads and pathways, he is heading for Santiago, and further yet to Finisterre, the ‘End of the World’. He carries with him 40 prayers, one for each day, one for each pilgrim that is energetically walking with him. He is supported by 12 guides, energetically supporting him from afar. 

This is my journal of his 'Forty Pilgrims Project' - an observation from the outside, as one of his guides and friends. An exploration of my own journey by his side, as we connect in the quantum field.

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!