Summer has come! Arriving with a burst of flame and a flash of colour. Green grass beckons and the beach pulses with promise. The cool blue sea is lapping contentedly against the shore line as we bask in sunshine that seems to last forever, sending us into dreamy wonderment. Ah me!
It has taken me almost three years to write the next episode in this series. It all started in 2011 with an adventurous year breaking free of the bonds that had kept me tied to a damp, dark basement flat in Brighton. I had spent a year and a half lost, recovering from a broken heart. I had been desperately trying to apply the principles of the Universe onto my life, in a vain hope to create an experience full of joy and adventure, convinced (as I have been since I was little) that there must be something more. There must be something deeper and bigger that we are all missing...
After that summer I wrote about my adventures in
A Plan for All Seasons -Spring. I hoped to complete the series by the end of the year but it never seemed the right time to comment. I wanted to reflect on the new insights I was having. I wanted to put together a series that grew with me. I wanted to open myself up to the flow of creativity that I had alluded to. Three years down the line - I realise that I have remained in that long spring of awakening for a lot longer than a season. My journey thus far, whilst extensive, has been an extended version of the same theme. Summer for me is only just dawning and that is just fine.
I have criss-crossed the world over the last few years, working and volunteering my way around India, Thailand, Vietnam, France, Spain, Greece and Poland. I travel with my partner, lover and fellow soul adventurer Paulina. Somehow, the way has always opened up for us... eventually. Just when we think we are going to run out of money or get stuck, an answer appears. Sometimes straight out of the blue.
The defining factor in our adventures has been an idea that I realised in the spring of 2011 - there is nothing that says I have to stay in any one place... I am free. With this in our hearts, we unplugged ourselves from the idea that we have to have a house and a steady job and security. We put our faith in answers appearing when we need them (which can be daunting), and ploughed forward into the world. We have found jobs all over the place - the occasional job on
Gumtree, volunteering on
WorkAway, and rigorous Internet searches. When we managed let go of our fear and stopped worrying, the next adventure appeared quickly and when we held tight to worry and stress, finding jobs was hard.
Of course, the last three years have not been without their challenges. As spring turned into eternal summer, there were the inevitable weeds to pull out of my garden. I discovered - at first to my horror - that even though I was beginning to harness the power of intention and attraction, there was much work to be done in dissolving limiting beliefs. BIG core beliefs such as 'I am not worthy', 'I am not good enough', 'I am ugly', and 'It is your fault!' all jostled for space in my head whilst I had to chase them and consider whether I really needed them in there. They are sneaky buggers too! Often hiding behind protective behaviors and beliefs.
When adventuring into consciousness and considering our unlimited potential as humans, we have to also consider the limiting illusions we have set up around us. We can often settle in comfort and mediocrity because we are scared of the unknown or are unaware of our own creative power in our lives. As my friend
Jamie Catto illustrated in his workshop '
Transforming Shadows', we have a choice to embrace our dark side, become self-referring and dissolve the old emotions that seem to hold us in a reactionary state. We can choose to stop barking at the world around us and find out why we were barking in the first place! Woof! If you ever want to explore your dark side and begin to embrace your whole self, I thoroughly recommend his workshops.
So what has changed for me that may add a spot of light to the great human experience - or at least to mine...? To be brief - some letting go, some embracing, some ah ha moments and some new habits. I let go of some arguments, I embraced some of my dark sides (there are many), I realised that I am full of power and potential and the next moment is unwritten... And the biggest thing of all, I have begun looking into this present moment and searching for my joy instead of judging it. This is by no means easy - sometimes my angry pitbull surfaces, barking like mad, frothing at the mouth. So I try and breathe. I sooth myself. Every day is a practice. What is beautiful now? What can I thank myself for? How can I smile into my body a bit more? Who can I say something nice to and mean it?
My summer is gently unfolding and instead of trying to force the Universe to twist to my desperate needs I am relaxing into the present and working on my emotional health, moment to moment. Then, when I achieve that subtle moment of joy, somehow everything seems a bit brighter, and, as if by magic, an answer appears or a door opens. Sometimes, the door just leads to a room full of relief from the last moment and sometimes it leads to pastures new.
All I think I know is that each of us is totally full of unlimited potential and love. The more we relax and breathe and work on making each moment as good as we can, with the tools that we have, then the closer to joy we will get. The road seems long but our heart is right there, in the middle of our chests. Give it a rub and say hello!
I wish you all the best in whatever you do and whatever path you walk.
Matthew
