Day 5
Simon has been walking for five days now. Perhaps he has
completed today’s walk – of this I am not sure. What I do know is that he has
already walked over 100km from Irun to Zenarruza in Northern Spain. Each day,
he has held in his heart a prayer and poetic portrait for one of the forty
pilgrims that are on this journey with him. As one of his twelve energetic
guides, I have sat for five days, morning and evening, offering my small yoga
practice, meditation and a prayer to him and the circle of 53, that we may join
together in an energetic focus to support and heal Simon as he walks, adding
considerable power to the dreams and intentions of the group as a whole.
The journey for each of us holds different challenges. Simon
has the challenge of walking a vast distance and maintaining his intention to
make peace with his temptation. For the rest of us, we are moving through our
day to day lives, observing his journey and walking our own pathways through
conscious reality, perhaps making changes, cleaning out our bodies or minds,
affirming our goals or maybe just observing life as we live it.
I have been soaked by unseasonal rain. The delicate
pitter-patter of dry-land drenching water has been music to my ears as the
oncoming storm approached since yesterday. The gardens I have worked on all
winter have offered a silent thank you to the clouds, as the land greets the
sky like an old friend.
Yet amid that poetic staccato, my mind has been crashing
against my own conflicts. Since the journey began, I have become far more
motivated to sit for my meditation and gently stretch my amazing body. We all
have an amazing one you know. I have been far more motivated in sitting to
write yet as with all powerful journeys of the heart and soul, we must face our
demons at some point.
I crashed against the rocks of conflict today. I found
myself in an argument I didn’t want to be in. My body trembling, my voice
quivering, my hands shaking. I had fear running through my body and I felt it
as I had done when I was a child and teenager, locking antlers with my peers
and parents.
It was an old feeling, one that I most definitely instigated
and the Universe reflected back at me with balletic precision. It felt like a
crescendo of the frustration from the last few days. A building of thoughts
that revolved around struggling with life and not being valued.
Our hearts, bodies and souls are conspiring with the
Universe at large to make us whole and healthy again. Just look at what happens
when you cut yourself - your body begins fixing that cut. It doesn’t stop at
physical injuries – the ongoing healing extends infinitely into our minds and
psyche, as the Universe reflects and throws up situations that mirror patterns
of emotion and thought within us that are ready to be healed.
This wasn’t just a day when someone pissed me off and I got
cranky and sarcastic and they got angry and I got scared. This was a day when
another being, made of the same stuff as me, triggered an emotional response in
me that woke me up to an old forgotten part of myself that has been hidden and
wants to be hugged and healed.
Yes, the rascal did piss me off, but… I chose the reaction.
I also chose the ensuing aftermath - a brooding vegetable chopper with a
vengeance. But vegetables are kind, and gave me the rest I needed for my mind.
My beans, having been finely sliced and washed, allowed me a gap to see what
was really going on.
A broken part of me, a young version of me, one that
witnessed conflict, one that was scared and thus defensive, one that felt
worthless and undervalued and taken for granted was making itself known through
this drama. The conflict was a gift – I had to just see it as so, in order to
acknowledge this lost part of myself. What was needed was listening… and love.
As I write about it, I can feel that lost child peering
around a corner in my mind, wondering if it is safe to come out. I can feel the
circle of 53 and the power it has. It is a supportive structure, and the
support flows both ways. All ways in fact, from guide to Simon to pilgrim to
guide to guide to Simon – you get the picture.
It took me a while to understand this. Most of the day in
fact. When these kinds of dramas arise with friends and family, with my lover,
I seem to move through them quicker – because I love those people. I do not
want to be in conflict with them. Sometimes it can be hard when the person who
is triggering emotional responses in you is a stranger. We can be less likely
to see the gift that the drama is offering. Yet I genuinely believe that every
moment has something to offer us, even strangers are friends. The harshest of circumstances will yield
a silver lining eventually. It all depends on how present we can be and how
much we can listen. Not just with our ears, but with our hearts and bodies as
well.
Our own universe is talking to us. Our reality and emotions
are giving us signals to acknowledge our states of being. To bring a little love
into our hearts - for others yes - but maybe, more importantly, for ourselves.
That is where the magic lies… in recovering those lost little portions of ourselves
and loving them back into ourselves fully.
Love, love, love…
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'The Forty Pilgrims Project' series is a blog inspired by a journey. Simon Welsh, poet, writer and new paradigm adventurer is walking the Camino de Santiago - a simple mission to put one foot in front of the other. Carving
out a journey over 1000km of trails, roads and pathways, he is heading
for Santiago, and further yet to Finisterre, the ‘End of the World’. He carries
with him 40 prayers, one for each day, one for each pilgrim that is
energetically walking with him. He is supported by 12 guides, energetically
supporting him from afar.
This
is my journal of his 'Forty Pilgrims Project' - an observation from the
outside, as one of his guides and friends. An exploration of my own
journey by his side, as we connect in the quantum field.
Matt
is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is
exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the
waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are
adventures in themselves!
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