The Forty Pilgrims Project - Baby Steps

Day 9, 10, 11 and 12

Progress along life’s path is never measured in even beats. Everything has its own rhythm, whether it is the beating of our own hearts, the gentle thrum and crash of waves, or the seasons of our lives. Sometimes we move in voluminous billows of action, like gathering clouds preparing for a hurricane and sometimes we can seem stuck in the mud, barely moving at all. Yet there is rhythm in everything, however fast or slow it may seem. There is a beautiful Japanese word for this natural rhythm present in everything – hyoshi – the sound of a child clapping.

When we can become one with the rhythm of what presents itself to us, then we begin achieving yoga or union within ourselves. Yoga is a state of consciousness we all possess that longs to be revealed. It is a state of oneness with everything around us. It sounds mystical and has many other definitions and interpretations but it is something we have all experienced. Oneness with the moment can be felt in the shower when there is just you and the cascading water. It can be felt when you are having a joyous day of adventure, where everything works, everything fits into place and you seem to be ‘on fire’! Yoga is the state of creativity when you are dancing, writing, drawing or singing and reality seems to disappear, leaving you in a state of flow. Your senses are heightened and your consciousness streams like the wind through the trees. Yoga is the potential within you longing to meet you in the present. Yoga is an inner peace that arises within you when you are fully immersed – running, stretching, breathing, praying, cooking, eating, loving…

Simon is practicing some beautiful walking yoga. He is connected to his pilgrims and guides, supported from near and far. The last time I wrote, I left him at Liendo after eight days of rambling. He had notched up 222km by then. What a lovely number! Four days have passed. Four slow days for me. Four walking pace days for him I am sure! As to his whereabouts at the moment, I am not entirely sure. He is a few days behind on his album updates on Facebook from whence I glean my knowledge. Most likely he has probably walked another 100km or so, through hill and dale, beach, wood and mountain.

The last four days have been slow for me – I have not walked so far. I have been listening to the hyoshi of my moments and have been seeking that state of yoga within. I know that sounds a little poncy but it has a very practical significance.

I cannot go any further without revealing a little of my intentions when I joined ‘The Forty Pilgrims Project’. As I have previously mentioned, this is a co-creative adventure connecting 53 people with a series of powerful quantum experiments. We are collectively healing, transmuting and manifesting a whole bunch of dreams, intentions, ideas and plans as Simon leads the way on his camino, physically taking steps, reading personal prayers he wrote, and connecting to the guides.

I spoke to him before he left. We discussed what I could offer him and the group as a guide. We discussed reiki, certain shamanic attunements, the violet flame and ideas such as focus and strength. He requested that I reveal an intention I would like to manifest over the next year. My intention is to rediscover my motivation to create more works of art – in writing, music and song. I have been struggling for years with confidence and various patterns that have prevented me from experiencing my full potential in this area of my life. Many other areas of my life are really quite fantastic and I would count myself as incredibly blessed to have created and manifested a wonderful experience for myself.

The thing is, Simon said it something like this, ‘You seem to have found your way into heaven but left a little bit of your soul outside the door’. He had hit the nail on the head. My deepest wish is to always be singing, writing and creating. It matters more than anything to me except I had forgotten. The gradual build-up of blocks and patterns I had in my head that stopped me being the artist I dreamed of became so big I had become numb to the beauty, genius and potential of myself. Take note, we all have these qualities. It can just take some work to realise it.

The night after I last wrote in this blog, I went up to the retreat to say goodbye to the last group. Somehow someone found out I was a singer and after a good hour of wrangling, I was eventually inspired to sing them some songs. We had a ball. There was so much joy that night. Everyone was singing along, I bowed to the hyoshi - the rhythm of that moment and found myself in yoga. Time and space faded away and there was just the connection to the guitar, my voice and the beautiful people around me. I basked in a feeling of joy for the next two days, remembering just what it feels like to be immersed in the thing you love the most.

Since then, the last four days have been a series of baby steps. That is all we can do in the moment as we are moving toward our dreams. A little practice here. An inspiring magazine clipping of a band stuck on the wall there. A little day-dreaming about songs exploding out of my head. A little focusing on my current blessings. A little poem. A bit more feeling good. Each action drawing in new ideas and energy.

Do what you can in the moment it presents itself. However small the action may seem – do it. Find your dream. Focus on it. Feel good about it. Whatever your intention is, however big or small – move toward it in any way you can each day. Don’t fight the hyoshi of the moment. Go with the flow. Glow with your flow. Go slow if it’s slow and show up if you can.

Remember, it is just one foot in front of the other. The only thing you need to focus on is the next logical step. Baby steps count. Trust them.

Love, love, love…

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'The Forty Pilgrims Project' series is a blog inspired by a journey. Simon Welsh, poet, writer and new paradigm adventurer is walking the Camino de Santiago - a simple mission to put one foot in front of the other. Carving out a journey over 1000km of trails, roads and pathways, he is heading for Santiago, and further yet to Finisterre, the ‘End of the World’. He carries with him 40 prayers, one for each day, one for each pilgrim that is energetically walking with him. He is supported by 12 guides, energetically supporting him from afar. 

This is my journal of his 'Forty Pilgrims Project' - an observation from the outside, as one of his guides and friends. An exploration of my own journey by his side, as we connect in the quantum field.

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!

The Forty Pilgrims Project - The First Rays of Sun

Day 6, 7 and 8

There is a fresh feeling in the air after the storm. The atmosphere feels clear and full of promise. Things that once seemed dark are again illumined as sunlight glistens on drops of water nestled in leaves and puddles.

Storms always seem to echo human drama in such a wonderful way. Flashes of anger and vast rumbling clouds roll over our mostly sunny existence, obscuring the light, making it seem as if it has always been like that. Yet the clouds last only as long as we look at them and sometimes even less. Would that we could look past them, into the ever-lasting sun bath of space. Yet we would miss the life-giving force of the storm and that would be a shame.

It seems that shake-ups are necessary on a journey of the heart and soul. We have to face our tempests and walk bravely through them. Simon spent a day in the energy of the phoenix, the mythical bird of fire that heralds the transmuting force of death and rebirth. A storm bringer to be sure but death, whether metaphorical or actual, is an ending that marks a new beginning.

The storm can be full of scary stuff but it contains gifts. Once it passes, our lives can seem simpler. That first ray of sunshine striking the distant hills gives us pause… perhaps a new start is possible. Perhaps we can begin again. Perhaps we can change everything. Of course we can.

My last few days have been deliciously mellow after my own storm of a few days ago. I have begun to see the world in a different light. I feel more in control of myself. I feel like every day of this co-creative quest, every step Simon takes, I am taking with him. Stepping into my power, becoming more confident in my life, with myself, my choices, and my thoughts.

I have noticed a subtlety to my consciousness that I did not notice before. It lies in the present moment, at the point where we make choices. It is a rather ethereal thing, an awareness of heart and mind, and fear and love, an awareness of empowering or dis-empowering. It is an awareness that links my direct and future experiences with the choices of thought and focus I am making in any given moment. It is very new and yet ancient, something I have been looking for all my life, yet only now is making itself known. It feels like taking action upon the voice of my soul – choosing the higher pathway when presented with myriad options.

Even though ‘choosing the higher pathway’ sounds a bit dogmatic to my ears, it nicely echoes the guides’ prayer that I recite every morning and night. I prefer the idea that we can choose a more ‘empowering’ pathway without the notion of higher and lower. I think all pathways are imbued with purpose and spirit. Seeing the inherent gift in every pathway is a sure way to the freedom and joy we seek.

I want to explore this though because this is where I am and this is what the Forty Pilgrims Project is connecting me to right now. This empowering pathway means that I am choosing to listen to myself first when I feel an emotional reaction arising in me instead of acting out of fear. Instead of the knee-jerk defensive block, angry barking dog protecting his territory, I am feeling where the emotion comes from within me. I am deciding not to react and asking myself what it is I really want. Instead of living by default, getting bored with my job, being pissed off with my boss/lover/pet/friend/parent, focusing on the things that are stuck in my life, I am beginning to consciously look into the next step. What does this situation tell me about me? What is it I don’t want, thus what is it I do want? What future do I want for this planet? What part do I want to play in it? What can I focus upon that feels good?

I have started looking at all the great bits of my experience, all the bits of my life that are working. That has developed into seeing that all of the things I see and experience are in some way, parts of myself. I have been toying with loving them all. Tricky but interesting. I have begun making small physical baby steps toward some of my dreams – writing more often, picking up my guitar more often. I have started making a vision board. A visual reference of the kind of life I want to lead. I am feeling into that life just for a few moments every day. I have even begun overhauling my ideas about money – a subject for another day but interesting nonetheless. Perhaps the hardest bit, I am starting to live ‘now’ moments, fully immersed in them. I don’t know where this ship is going but I do know that I have control of the tiller and I am trimming my sails and starting to move along at a decent clip. Conscious living is an art! These are choices we all face and we always have the option of doing things differently to how we have done previously.

The awareness I have of the circle of 53 is growing. Each day I can feel a little more. Each day I feel more connected to Simon and to some of the other lovely souls on this journey. At the moment it is a purely energetic thing. A clairsentient knowing in my heart. I feel I am being slowly led back to myself and my full potential.

There is a magic woven into every moment but we have to slow down to see it. A magic that allows serendipitous events to occur. A magic that seeds life in every possible nook and cranny. A magic that lifts us from the cold of night into the brilliance of dawn. A magic that lets us know we are not alone, even when we are taking solitary steps along a lonely road. A magic that taps our feet at the beat of a drum. A magic that connects us through hearts and minds, culture and breath.

We are the masters of this magic. We are the ones that allow it in or not. We are the gardeners of our hearts, neglecting our dreams or nurturing them with daily love, positivity and appropriate choices. Here is to your garden and the seeds you plant within yourself. Here is to your dreams and the verdant pastures that are waiting to grow. Here is to you and me.

Love, love, love…

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'The Forty Pilgrims Project' series is a blog inspired by a journey. Simon Welsh, poet, writer and new paradigm adventurer is walking the Camino de Santiago - a simple mission to put one foot in front of the other. Carving out a journey over 1000km of trails, roads and pathways, he is heading for Santiago, and further yet to Finisterre, the ‘End of the World’. He carries with him 40 prayers, one for each day, one for each pilgrim that is energetically walking with him. He is supported by 12 guides, energetically supporting him from afar. 

This is my journal of his 'Forty Pilgrims Project' - an observation from the outside, as one of his guides and friends. An exploration of my own journey by his side, as we connect in the quantum field.

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!

The Forty Pilgrims Project - Thunder and Lightning

Day 5

Simon has been walking for five days now. Perhaps he has completed today’s walk – of this I am not sure. What I do know is that he has already walked over 100km from Irun to Zenarruza in Northern Spain. Each day, he has held in his heart a prayer and poetic portrait for one of the forty pilgrims that are on this journey with him. As one of his twelve energetic guides, I have sat for five days, morning and evening, offering my small yoga practice, meditation and a prayer to him and the circle of 53, that we may join together in an energetic focus to support and heal Simon as he walks, adding considerable power to the dreams and intentions of the group as a whole.

The journey for each of us holds different challenges. Simon has the challenge of walking a vast distance and maintaining his intention to make peace with his temptation. For the rest of us, we are moving through our day to day lives, observing his journey and walking our own pathways through conscious reality, perhaps making changes, cleaning out our bodies or minds, affirming our goals or maybe just observing life as we live it.

I have been soaked by unseasonal rain. The delicate pitter-patter of dry-land drenching water has been music to my ears as the oncoming storm approached since yesterday. The gardens I have worked on all winter have offered a silent thank you to the clouds, as the land greets the sky like an old friend.

Yet amid that poetic staccato, my mind has been crashing against my own conflicts. Since the journey began, I have become far more motivated to sit for my meditation and gently stretch my amazing body. We all have an amazing one you know. I have been far more motivated in sitting to write yet as with all powerful journeys of the heart and soul, we must face our demons at some point.

I crashed against the rocks of conflict today. I found myself in an argument I didn’t want to be in. My body trembling, my voice quivering, my hands shaking. I had fear running through my body and I felt it as I had done when I was a child and teenager, locking antlers with my peers and parents.

It was an old feeling, one that I most definitely instigated and the Universe reflected back at me with balletic precision. It felt like a crescendo of the frustration from the last few days. A building of thoughts that revolved around struggling with life and not being valued.

Our hearts, bodies and souls are conspiring with the Universe at large to make us whole and healthy again. Just look at what happens when you cut yourself - your body begins fixing that cut. It doesn’t stop at physical injuries – the ongoing healing extends infinitely into our minds and psyche, as the Universe reflects and throws up situations that mirror patterns of emotion and thought within us that are ready to be healed.

This wasn’t just a day when someone pissed me off and I got cranky and sarcastic and they got angry and I got scared. This was a day when another being, made of the same stuff as me, triggered an emotional response in me that woke me up to an old forgotten part of myself that has been hidden and wants to be hugged and healed.

Yes, the rascal did piss me off, but… I chose the reaction. I also chose the ensuing aftermath - a brooding vegetable chopper with a vengeance. But vegetables are kind, and gave me the rest I needed for my mind. My beans, having been finely sliced and washed, allowed me a gap to see what was really going on.

A broken part of me, a young version of me, one that witnessed conflict, one that was scared and thus defensive, one that felt worthless and undervalued and taken for granted was making itself known through this drama. The conflict was a gift – I had to just see it as so, in order to acknowledge this lost part of myself. What was needed was listening… and love.

As I write about it, I can feel that lost child peering around a corner in my mind, wondering if it is safe to come out. I can feel the circle of 53 and the power it has. It is a supportive structure, and the support flows both ways. All ways in fact, from guide to Simon to pilgrim to guide to guide to Simon – you get the picture.

It took me a while to understand this. Most of the day in fact. When these kinds of dramas arise with friends and family, with my lover, I seem to move through them quicker – because I love those people. I do not want to be in conflict with them. Sometimes it can be hard when the person who is triggering emotional responses in you is a stranger. We can be less likely to see the gift that the drama is offering. Yet I genuinely believe that every moment has something to offer us, even strangers are friends. The harshest of circumstances will yield a silver lining eventually. It all depends on how present we can be and how much we can listen. Not just with our ears, but with our hearts and bodies as well.

Our own universe is talking to us. Our reality and emotions are giving us signals to acknowledge our states of being. To bring a little love into our hearts - for others yes - but maybe, more importantly, for ourselves. That is where the magic lies… in recovering those lost little portions of ourselves and loving them back into ourselves fully.

Love, love, love…

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'The Forty Pilgrims Project' series is a blog inspired by a journey. Simon Welsh, poet, writer and new paradigm adventurer is walking the Camino de Santiago - a simple mission to put one foot in front of the other. Carving out a journey over 1000km of trails, roads and pathways, he is heading for Santiago, and further yet to Finisterre, the ‘End of the World’. He carries with him 40 prayers, one for each day, one for each pilgrim that is energetically walking with him. He is supported by 12 guides, energetically supporting him from afar. 

This is my journal of his 'Forty Pilgrims Project' - an observation from the outside, as one of his guides and friends. An exploration of my own journey by his side, as we connect in the quantum field.

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!

The Forty Pilgrims Project - Stormy Clouds

Day 3 and 4

Today was one of those days we have all had. It starts off great and gets a little more frustrating along the way, maybe it bounces back, maybe it doesn’t. I am currently wondering how Simon’s last few days went, up there in the north. Did he experience some frustration today and how did he handle it? I watched a video of him marching up a rather steep hill having just confronted some deeper aspects of himself. Such is a journey of the heart and soul. We have to keep taking the next step.

Lately I’ve been surfing my frustration with a growing skill that I have been slowly developing over the last twenty years. Before that, I was just another angry teenager with no wish whatsoever to curb my tempestuous temper. Back then I felt justified in my angst and heroic in my anger as I slayed my foes in a righteous quest for freedom, truth and justice. I think we all know the pattern. Life was unfair, people greedy and horrid, and school completely sucked.

Nowadays, I tend to listen to my emotions and try and make decisions based on acknowledging my feelings as guides. I then attempt to focus my thoughts in order to arrive at new actions and greater possibilities. Sometimes I win, sometimes I loose. The last few days have been tricky. It is a work in progress – a grand experiment into conscious creation that has picked up speed over the last few months. Perhaps I have always been at it… perhaps we are all at it, for it is always hard to pinpoint when one begins this quest - if at all we were never at it!

Anyhow, before I completely walk in the wrong direction, let’s get back to the Pilgrims. As I said, my experiences and experiments in conscious living have accelerated since I experienced the completion of an attunement of a new facet of myself. Just a few weeks ago I read a book by my reiki master, detailing the process of awakening the violet flame chakra within our bodies. Through her, I began the attunement to this energy and chakra centre over a year ago. Around about the same time it reached its completion, I began reading about Simon’s project. But more on the Violet Flame in the coming weeks as I don’t feel that now is quite the time to go into it. Suffice to say that I feel that this new energy drew me toward The Forty Pilgrims Project as a resonance of my concentration of focus upon potential, possibility and creative spirit. There are lots of resonant factors between the two. But what has all this got to do with experiencing frustration in our day to day lives?

Part of conscious creation and living is becoming self-referring. It is understanding that the life you experience is a reflection of your own mix of perceptions, ideas and thoughts. More than that, we draw to ourselves a specific mix of co-created events that help us to let go of the old patterns that no longer serve us so that we can move into higher paradigms of expression and creativity. We work in groups of family and friends, helping each other grow and expand. Sometimes we fall back and sometimes we suffer. Sometimes we hold on to the past or fear the future. Yet here we are, experiencing and creating life.

Put more simply, we have desires and dreams and fears and preferences. All of us are different and have a different mix of these things. Even trees and crabs and dogs and worms have preferences. Our fears and blinkered views can hold us back for a time whilst we can also be switched on, open and fruity! We can embrace life and expand, or hold onto limiting beliefs and stunt our growth. Today and yesterday were some of those days when I witnessed, from outside of my usual self, a whole bunch of those factors. I was subject to a very clever play of interwoven moments and consciousness.

I am beginning to get the idea that if you start the day with a more positive feeling then you can roll with that feeling. Waking up on the wrong side of bed, grumpy and rumpled often produces a day of similar qualities. The opposite is also true. A day begun with a positive outlook has more chance of staying on track and revealing rainbow in the sky moments!

Well, I continued with my new daily habit of yoga, meditations and guide prayers specific to the Project. I walked to work, feeling good, but slightly conscious of knowing that I was holding onto a few thoughts based on someone else’s opinion plus some of my own shadowy aspects. We are hosting a new group of people at the retreat I work at and had been informed from various sources what this would be like. The outlook was less than positive.

We can be influenced by other people’s opinions and actions when we let them in – whether the words of our parents, teachers, well-meaning friends or glossy magazines. Over the course of the day, I watched the play of other people’s words upon my mind. I watched how some things slowly got me stressed and how sometimes, instead of brooding and growling in my head, I focused on breathing into my heart. I watched myself growing in frustration and then letting it go as I decided to make my own assessment of the situation. Sometimes I didn’t make it and found myself barking in a corner of my head, cursing the world and all who stand in it! ‘Breathe… come back into me’, said my heart.

Part of conscious living is also taking each moment as brand new. So I watched my mind throw up old reactions to dramas that were thrown as me. I paused to listen rather than reacting. I embraced my crazy mind. Gave it an inner hug. Then I moved on. I stepped out of my frustrations with work, people and life. I focused on the things in front of me. The music that was playing, the vegetables I was chopping. Dramas seem to fade away when we immerse ourselves in the moment and then seem trivial after all.

It seems that dramas create dramas, even before you get to the drama. The opinions of others playing on your mind will tune you into that opinion if you let it, leaving you looking out for the pitfalls and foibles of other people’s woes.

If you take life as fresh, and each moment as individual, then you can shift your relationship with old patterns of thought, allowing space for solutions and insight to enter.

We each have a unique and individual relationship with every facet of life, whether it be a concept, a person, an animal or a thing. When we take on board the ideas and opinions of others as our own, especially before the moment we have experienced that relationship for ourselves, we are not truly living our own life, but the ideas of another. This serves us of course, because our life is our life and our experience is our experience and we bring ourselves to things through our choices and grow as a result of them. Yet it is useful to recognise that embracing the opinions and ideas of another is a choice as well.

We could just as easily let those opinions and ideas go and choose to experience now - fresh. Just for ourselves. As if nobody had ever been there before in that way… which is true.

No one has ever been you in this moment.

Love, love, love xxx

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'The Forty Pilgrims Project' series is a blog inspired by a journey. Simon Welsh, poet, writer and new paradigm adventurer is walking the Camino de Santiago - a simple mission to put one foot in front of the other. Carving out a journey over 1000km of trails, roads and pathways, he is heading for Santiago, and further yet to Finisterre, the ‘End of the World’. He carries with him 40 prayers, one for each day, one for each pilgrim that is energetically walking with him. He is supported by 12 guides, energetically supporting him from afar. 

This is my journal of his 'Forty Pilgrims Project' - an observation from the outside, as one of his guides and friends. An exploration of my own journey by his side, as we connect in the quantum field.

Matt is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are adventures in themselves!