I have been undertaking a small
challenge for myself. It is to create something every day in February. The
reason for doing this is to create a new habit within me that is supportive of
my dreams and desires. I have always been creative and have always had creative
urges but like many of us, have lived with a number of fears that held me back.
Amongst other things I am a musician but have long been crippled by my own limiting beliefs. Voices from childhood, fear of others opinions, fear of judgement, of looking a fool and the big one, of not being worthy or good enough. This led me to completely stifle my musical urges because it was easier than face the voices, the risks and the edge of my comfort zone. I generally did okay at gigs but it took me a long time to build up my courage and play one. Not motivated is what you would call me.
The absolute worst thing I could do was busk. To me that was the pinnacle of vulnerability and risk. That was to lay myself bare to everything, to completely expose myself to the public without a reason. With this in mind, over the last few months, I have been working gently but consistently on loving myself, listening to the emotions that flow through me and just opening to my senses without getting lost in my mind. Sitting, being, allowing.
Lately I faced some big fears on a snowy mountain and made an effort to listen and relax. I let go of the tension in my body, I allowed myself to be in this moment and looked for things going right, right now.
On Sunday I finally played an open mic event even though I was scared, tired, and unpractised. I took a step forward with faith. At 3.30 in the morning, a local promoter who was also at the open mic (things start late in Spain), offered me a gig the next Sunday in a big Irish pub.
Today I decided to venture into town to practice my set. I found a nice spot in the park on the mountain above the Alcazaba. I had to practice anyway so I told myself I was just practicing outside. I happened to have my guitar case open and I offered my songs to the sea, the sun, the trees and the people who passed by.
Occasional moments of fear passed through me but I kept telling myself I was safe and loved. I sat for 90 minutes busking, out in the open. I didn't die. I focused on the task at hand, practicing my set. No one told me off. No one judged me. My music was a gift to nature. What I had held in complete fear and terror melted into total illusion under the beautiful spring sun. My fears seemed to pass like clouds on a windy day. I even made enough spare change for a few beers.
What I want to say is this... Those fears that you thought were big are probably not as big as you think they are. We are wonderful imagineers us humans. We are very good at giving substance to things which don't exist.
Love yourself. Nurture yourself. Listen to yourself. Take it bit by bit but step you must. However small the step. The step will give you confidence. You do not need to leap. Just step. Fears can be dissolved and put to good use. You can thrive and shine.
I wish you much love and courage and baby steps.
Love, love, love...
Matt
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Create February Fabulous! is an idea or challenge to try and show up with your own creativity every day for the month of February. It is a simple idea. The creativity can take any form, and take any amount of time. Any media, any discipline, the only condition is to have fun. No critics, no judgement, just a celebration of our own unique human quality of creativity. You are encouraged to share your projects anywhere you like (only if you want) using the hashtag #createfebruary. Join the Facebook group, share on Instagram, blog about it, invite friends to some daily creativity. Let's see what we can create together.
Amongst other things I am a musician but have long been crippled by my own limiting beliefs. Voices from childhood, fear of others opinions, fear of judgement, of looking a fool and the big one, of not being worthy or good enough. This led me to completely stifle my musical urges because it was easier than face the voices, the risks and the edge of my comfort zone. I generally did okay at gigs but it took me a long time to build up my courage and play one. Not motivated is what you would call me.
The absolute worst thing I could do was busk. To me that was the pinnacle of vulnerability and risk. That was to lay myself bare to everything, to completely expose myself to the public without a reason. With this in mind, over the last few months, I have been working gently but consistently on loving myself, listening to the emotions that flow through me and just opening to my senses without getting lost in my mind. Sitting, being, allowing.
Lately I faced some big fears on a snowy mountain and made an effort to listen and relax. I let go of the tension in my body, I allowed myself to be in this moment and looked for things going right, right now.
On Sunday I finally played an open mic event even though I was scared, tired, and unpractised. I took a step forward with faith. At 3.30 in the morning, a local promoter who was also at the open mic (things start late in Spain), offered me a gig the next Sunday in a big Irish pub.
Today I decided to venture into town to practice my set. I found a nice spot in the park on the mountain above the Alcazaba. I had to practice anyway so I told myself I was just practicing outside. I happened to have my guitar case open and I offered my songs to the sea, the sun, the trees and the people who passed by.
Occasional moments of fear passed through me but I kept telling myself I was safe and loved. I sat for 90 minutes busking, out in the open. I didn't die. I focused on the task at hand, practicing my set. No one told me off. No one judged me. My music was a gift to nature. What I had held in complete fear and terror melted into total illusion under the beautiful spring sun. My fears seemed to pass like clouds on a windy day. I even made enough spare change for a few beers.
What I want to say is this... Those fears that you thought were big are probably not as big as you think they are. We are wonderful imagineers us humans. We are very good at giving substance to things which don't exist.
Love yourself. Nurture yourself. Listen to yourself. Take it bit by bit but step you must. However small the step. The step will give you confidence. You do not need to leap. Just step. Fears can be dissolved and put to good use. You can thrive and shine.
I wish you much love and courage and baby steps.
Love, love, love...
Matt
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Create February Fabulous! is an idea or challenge to try and show up with your own creativity every day for the month of February. It is a simple idea. The creativity can take any form, and take any amount of time. Any media, any discipline, the only condition is to have fun. No critics, no judgement, just a celebration of our own unique human quality of creativity. You are encouraged to share your projects anywhere you like (only if you want) using the hashtag #createfebruary. Join the Facebook group, share on Instagram, blog about it, invite friends to some daily creativity. Let's see what we can create together.
Matt
is a singer/songwriter, musician, poet and writer of words. He is
exploring the forests of consciousness, time and space, and surfing the
waves of thought, love and being. Getting lost and wiping out are
adventures in themselves!
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